Salamanders: hell yeah, baby! You don't have to be the small guys on the playground anymore. When some stupid river fish swims over and calls you a pipsqueak, you can now invoke the holy memory of your forgotten ancestors—the recently discovered six-foot, toilet-seat-headed "super" salamanders. Who's the boss now?
Cue Jay Leno's opening monologue in his dreams: "Archaeologists are saying they've found prehistoric fossils below a West Side subway station. Well, hey, I thought Elizabeth Taylor was buried in Hollywood! Ho ho ho."
Paleoentomologist Bruce Archibald has identified a Wyoming fossil as a "monstrously big ant." How big? About the size of a two-inch hummingbird, as you can see above. So, yes, "monstrously big."
Good news for the oxymoronic field of creationist paleontology: A newly discovered cave painting in southeastern Utah sort of resembles a long-necked dinosaur, which means humans and dinosaurs coexisted in Utah 6000 years ago, back when the planet was new, say officials from the Creationist Museum of Petersburg, Kentucky.
An Italian paleontologist has discovered a fossilized dinosaur skull inside a small town cathedral. Yes, an actual dinosaur skull! In a church! How did it get there? Did Jesus kill it?!
