The Venezuelan military has seized control of the nation’s major ports and has been placed in charge of distributing food in an attempt to deter murderous, starving food bandits. That is not even the worst news.

Today is the day—the day for the “Brexit” vote that you’ve been hearing so much about, against your will. What do you, the only very vaguely interested American, need to know?

Venezuela, one of the world’s least successful nations, is seriously fucked. How much more fucked is Venzuela since the last time we told you how fucked Venzuela is?

For the “It’s Expensive to Be Poor” file: The poorest people in the world pay more of their income to get clean water than anyone else.

Here you will find a good explanation of the devastating humanitarian consequences of the 2009 coup in Honduras that was essentially supported by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

Europe is currently struggling to manage its biggest wave of refugees since WWII. Today, a top official tells economic migrants: do not fucking come here.

Venezuela—with a broken economy, runaway inflation, and rampant crime—is so fucked right now. How fucked is Venezuela since the last time we told you how fucked it was?

Our nation has problems, and your nation has problems, but be thankful you don’t live in Venezuela, which is truly one of the most fucked places on earth.

America! The greatest country in the world—where our robust free market system ensures that our economic growth is the envy of all lesser nations! Right?

Ukraine held together for almost a year and a half. But political violence last week showed Kiev’s power is growing more fragile than many thought. Our own photographer’s face is proof.

“What is the value of my life? You in America only care about death if it involves your allies?” a young pro-Russian soldier at a funeral for a fallen comrade plead his case. He smelled of tobacco, gunpowder and booze. Tears streaked his face. His uniform: mismatched camo pants and shirt.

“Passports! Translation!” yelled the Russian soldier after bursting into the hotel room. He was carrying a bottle of vodka — it was, after all, a Friday afternoon.

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is quoted as saying he has no intention of quitting and insists he will remain in charge. Although more than 100,000 people have been killed in Syria's conflict, al-Assad says the issue is not up for discussion at upcoming peace talks.

A day after Secretary of State John Kerry called last week's alleged chemical attack on Syrian civilians a "moral obscenity," Syrian foreign minister Walid al-Moallem challenged the U.S. to provide evidence of chemical warfare, and said the country will defend itself "using all means available" in the event of a U.S. strike.

President Obama told CNN's Chris Cuomo that Wednesday's alleged chemical attack on Syrian civilians was "clearly a big event of grave concern" and agreed that the U.S. faces "an abbreviated timeline" in crafting a response.

Thousands are injured across Egypt, and at least 638 are dead, after a vicious crackdown on Muslim Brotherhood sit-ins by the Egyptian Army—the third such mass killing since President Mohamed Morsi was removed from power by the military, and the worst by far.

More than 40 people were killed in Cairo on Wednesday in a violent Egyptian Army operation to clear two sit-ins for supporters of the Muslim Brotherhood and its ousted president, Mohamed Morsi.

Footage of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un inspecting a delirious troop of soldiers on the front line with South Korea was broadcast on state television on Friday following a belligerent exchange of threats between the two Koreas, which are still technically at war. "With their targets set, our intercontinental ballistic missiles and other missiles are on a standby, loaded with lighter, smaller and diversified nuclear warheads," North Korea's vice defense minister, Kang Pyo-yong, told a rally in Pyongyang. "If we push the button, they will blast off and their barrage will turn Washington, the stronghold of American imperialists and the nest of evil, and its followers, into a sea of fire." Experts don't think North Korea has perfected the technology necessary to place nuclear warheads on missiles; nevertheless, South Korea says if Pyongyang does attack with a nuke, Kim Jong-Un and his military "will be erased from the earth." North Korea cancelled its non-aggression agreements with South Korea yesterday after the U.N.—backed by China, Pyongyang's ally and largest trading partner—passed a resolution strengthening sanctions on the impoverished kingdom, but experts think Kim's belligerence is an attempt to consolidate power rather than a real threat.

Sometimes you come across a story from abroad that is so weird, but reported in such a straightforward, dull manner, that you think it's a mistranslation. The story behind this picture, which shows an impostor signing a massive fake business deal with the Ukranian government, is one of them.

Pour Michelle a big glass of white wine and light that one candle that I like ("cotton breeze") because Obama treated foreign policy decisions like Bachelor Rose Ceremony decisions this weekend, and we need to Talk About It.