Not everyone is pleased by the news that the Hampton Jitney will be making stop(s?) in Brooklyn this spring. Upper West Siders, usually a restrained, voiceless group, are complaining that they lack similar service, even though they live in Manhattan. The downtrodden residents of the better borough sing of their suffering.

Arise, ye lowly denizens of Brooklyn, and avail yourselves of the comfort of the Hampton Jitney. Yes, even though thee are of lowly, outer-borough stock, the ceaseless efforts of Marty Markowitz, your portly champion, have borne fruit: Come the first note of green in the meadow, the fancy carriage formerly reserved for the lords and ladies of Manhattan will deign to enter your foul-smelling territory (possibly even at multiple stops) and transport you to your jobs as scullery maids to the gentry of the East End and South Fork. Be sure to wear shoes; this ain't no LIRR.