After a youth football coach in Toms River, N.J. decided to cancel the entire season because his players were exhibiting ongoing poor sportsmanship and "bad attitudes," one of the kids' dads allegedly tackled the coach in response to that bullshit.

At some point, Matthew McConaughey's acting went from alright (alright alright) to Oscar-caliber, and he's happy to share the secrets of his success with the football team at his alma mater, the University of Texas. Secrets like: Think about how good you are, and then be better than that.

John Oliver, who had to resort to comedy after he realized he would never be a professional soccer player, is still completely obsessed with English football, and happy to spend an entire interview explaining the game's various leagues—premier, peasant, Downton Abbey—to a confused David Letterman.

Over the weekend, we learned that a Daily Show-staged showdown between Native American activists and supporters of the Washington Redskins name left at least one of the Redskins fans feeling "in danger" and "defamed." Last night, that segment aired.

If you're going to burn a giant, 100-yard penis onto a football field at your high school, who are you going to ask to be your accomplice? Your cousin? The valedictorian of your class? A landscaping expert? No, asshole, your mom.

Jimmy Kimmel's Mean Tweets schtick has already visited the NBA twice, and now it's finally arrived in pro football.

The Washington Post editorial board announced today it will stop using the word "Redskins" to refer to DC's professional football team.

Two University of Miami football players were arrested today on sexual battery charges after allegedly assaulting an incapacitated 17-year-old student in her dorm room. According to reports from CBS Miami and the New York Daily News, the two have admitted to plying her with alcohol prior to the alleged assault.

Today in the Washington Times—a conservative paper you forgot existed—columnist Michael Taube asks a simple question regarding the NFL's Washington "Redskins": "Why not the Washington Reagans?" Indeed, why not?

Even an unscientific ESPN poll tells an enduring truth sometimes. Apparently the only places where a majority of hypothetical Washington NFL fans really couldn't brook a hypothetical name change for the team are the deep South and Utah. Maybe that changes if we leave a link to the poll here.

The FIFA World Cup, soccer's premiere international tournament, begins today at 4 p.m., and you, non sports fan, are confused.

As the calls for the Washington Redskins to change their shamefully racist name have gotten louder, the organization has doubled down on its insistence that the slur is a point of pride. An 81-year-old newspaper article unearthed this week, however, makes that claim a little harder to stake.

The Washington Redskins—the team of choice for dumb, angry white men—may be a racist disgrace, but let's not forget that they're also a case study in hilariously incompetent propaganda-mongering.

The Atlanta Falcons' plan for a new stadium calls for $200 million in public money, and "for demolishing the city's first black Baptist church, and turning the street named after [Martin Luther] King into a dead-end for stadium VIP parking."

Later this month, Northwestern University football players will vote on whether to form a union. Their coach is against it. The head of the NCAA is against it. Those are two great reasons for the players to vote "yes."

Colleges, which exist primarily to enrich college football coaches, are now trying to hire college football coaches as college presidents. Makes sense. Cut out the middleman.

Alternate headline: Straightsplaining: NFL Edition.

On the heels of Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam's coming out, ESPN's entirely unscientific online poll shows two-thirds support for a gay NFL player across every state in America except Mississippi and Tennessee. Let's see how that changes if we leave... a link to the quiz... right... here.

Michael Sam, a defensive linesman for the University of Missouri football team, publicly came out today. The 24-year-old, who will likely be selected in the early rounds of the NFL draft in May, would be the first publicly-out football player in NFL history.

This Sunday, the Seahawks of Seattle and the Broncos of Denver meet in Super Bowl XLVIII. Not real seahawks or real broncos, just men in costumes with those animals painted on them. Nevertheless, a good and important question is raised: Who would win if it was actual broncos and actual seahawks?