The beautiful thing about Thanksgiving is that no two plates are ever the same; no two stuffings or pies or turkey legs are the same. It's a melting pot! Like America! So what does your meal look like today? Are you feasting on a deep fried turducken? Or is this year's fare a slab of tofurkey with a side of locally-sourced vegan dressing?

I mean, look at this guy. He's got legs like a German track cyclist and a chest like a beer keg. He clearly has hair extensions and those are a major turn-off, but I'll let that slide. Seriously, look at him! Prance, you sexy beat! Or radish, sorry. So much blood has left my head and rushed into my penis that I'm clearly disoriented. But o my heaven, radish man I'm yours and enter me sideways or in my mouth I don't care just do it now before anything below the belt turns blue.

A seductive magazine cover of a woman deep-throating asparagus is so nice, it's been used twice.