Last night, Lifetime aired a sequel to its ridiculous adaptation of V.C. Andrews' pulp tale of incest and other parenting no-nos, Flowers in the Attic. Petals on the Wind felt exactly like the rush job it was—the sequel was announced in January a week before Flowers aired because that's how certain Lifetime was that it had a hit on its hands.

In case you missed it, Lifetime (television for women and their friends who love campy shit) aired a brand new version of V.C. Andrews' incest classic Flowers in the Attic on Saturday. Its ridiculous plot, which finds a group of four young siblings imprisoned in their grandparents' attic because their grandfather can't know about them because their mother married her half-uncle and their mother is trying to win back the love of her father so she can inherit his fortune, was delivered ridiculously. (Spoiler alert: The imprisoned brother and sister end up fucking, so that kind of thing runs in the family.)

One of the best things editor Tony Ortega brought to the Village Voice from his previous job at the Broward-Palm Beach New Times is the story of D. Bruce McMahan, the 65-year-old dude who married his daughter in Westminster Abbey and who used to work with Jeffrey Epstein. The original reporter Kelly Cramer follows up in this week's issue of the Voice. with a profile of Elena McMahan, Bruce's fifth (non-blood-related) wife. We've pulled out all the good parts for you. And by good we mean really gross.