Good news: The Feds are finally savvy enough to scoop the blogosphere. Bad news: Now we'll never get a screen grab of his Facebook profile. Panty bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's social networking persona is emerging, and it's startlingly banal.

Ever since the TesticleTerrorist succeeded in nothing but scorching his balls, word spread of the TSA issuing reactionary regulations. Proof: this flight announcement recorded by none other than Vimeo's founder and DOTD-nominee Jakob Lodwick, which he posted to his blog.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this sound like today's Flight 253 was evacuated because a Nigerian was on the can for too long? Maybe he was reading Netherland. Who knows? But another flight in Detroit was just evacuated.

Jasper Schuringa probably didn't think twice before dismantling Northwest Airlines Flight 253's would-be bomber. But before telling his story, he wanted money, and he got it. From major news outlets who pay up and lie about it. Here's the proof:

So! CNN paid a bunch of money for this blurry photo of authorities restraining Abdul Farouk Abdulmutallab—hereby known as The Testicle Bomber—and you can watch Brooke Baldwin and T.J. Holmes talk over it. Fun!

Some guy tried to light an explosive devise, ended up producing a mediocre fireworks show inside of an airplane. So, he failed, ended up with burned balls. Now we have heroes and tighter air travel regulations. Also: he was Al-Qaeda.