On Monday, three firefighters who served on 9/11 died within hours of each other, according to the BBC. Lieutenant Howard Bischoff, 58, and firefighters Robert Leaver, 56, and Daniel Heglund, 58, all died of cancer, though it's unclear if their illnesses were linked to their service after the attacks.

At a training seminar in Bangor this week, first responders from eight communities throughout Eastern Maine learned how to react in case of a nationwide zombie outbreak.

After the passage of the Zadroga bill, 9/11 first responders will finally be able to receive their much-deserved compensation and health care coverage. But first, the government has to make sure they're not terrorists.

The Zadroga Act, which helps compensate 9/11 first responders, was signed into law by President Obama this afternoon.

There's been a lot of hootin'-and-hollerin' about Sonia Sotomayor and her rags-to-riches life story. But who's going to the Bronx to find out what her peeps think? I can do that. South Bronx, stand up!

Yesterday I went to Williamsburg in search of The Hipster Grifter. We may have spotted her! Also, we randomly ran into people from the previous pictures and coverage. During the work day! She's amazing!

So it's shiny. It's new. It turns sideways or something! But also you can only send 200 texts a month, which is patently ABSURD, and it doesn't have instant messenger. So it is essentially a tiny, pretty Mac brick that takes phone calls. TAN and Blakeley asked the peoples that you meet on the street so that the coolhunters can work from home today.

The pundits have had their say on whether or not Mike Bloomberg can be elected president. Now it's time to see what real New Yorkers think about the whole thing. The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley canvass the voters.

This week The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley canvas the area to see what New Yorkers really think about the greatest plague of the age: man boobs.

Yesterday, hotel heiress and vehicular freestylist Paris Hilton was released from prison after only three days due to an undisclosed medical condition. What does this say about the legal system in our society? The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley stepped outside to survey the surprisingly well-informed citizenry of Manhattan.

Lindsay Lohan has made a little news lately, what with all the cocaine-having and out-passing and car-crashing and rehab-entering. How do New Yorkers feel about the highly-publicized struggles of one of Long Island's most famous citizens? We stuck The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley out front of the office and wouldn't let them back in until they found out.

In this holiday edition of First Responders, our man on the street segment, The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley find out how New Yorkers are planning to spend their Memorial Day weekends. Except TAN never showed—you know how black people are—so Blakeley was forced to fend for himself. The result? What may very well be the best episode yet!

This week saw the passing of Jerry Falwell, preacher, teacher, and moral majoritarian. How did New Yorkers react to the loss? The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley hit the street to hear the good word.

Yesterday, a sad and staged publicity event took place outside our office. The "protest," aimed at "freeing" Paris Hilton, drew shockingly few spectators. Most of them, in fact, were press, including such luminaries as the Sun's Lenore Skenazy and the Post's Mark Bulliet. But what did average New Yorkers think about the whole thing? Since The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley only work within 50 feet of the office, they came out to ask the hard questions.

Today, with little fanfare, Columbia Pictures releases the emotionally restrained art house film Spider-Man 3. ("The actors are unconscious. The writing is barely legible," raved Rex Reed.) We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to see if the public is super-stoked for the cinema this weekend.

Rosie O'Donnell is leaving 'The View'. What does this mean to the man, and wo-man, on the street? We dispatched The Assimilated Negro and Julia Allison's Personal Director of Photography to find out.

The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley take to "the street" to get that all-important New York City random-person viewpoint on violence in high schools, fear of Asian Americans, and exactly what's wrong with America.

The great and the good have all spoken on the Imus affair; what of the common man? How does he or she feel about the aging radio personality's unfortunate remarks? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to investigate.

If you've read Jalopnik—or seen the endless stream of posts they send over our way, some of them tangentially related to New York—you'll know that this is the week of the annual New York Auto Show. But what do New Yorkers know about cars? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to investigate.

You may or may not have heard—there's been so little coverage of it—but a new Whole Foods opened at Houston and Bowery this morning. What sort of person shops there, or sulks angrily outside? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to investigate.