Scott Stockert, a man from North Dakota who is known to himself as “Jesus Christ,” was arrested after police received a tip that he’d traveled to Washington, D.C. with the express purpose of kidnapping First Dog Bo Obama. A fact that is deeply embarrassing for the Obamas’ other dog—you know the one.

The Obama family trotted Bo out to an obedient press corps. "It's a little pressure here," our President said. The dog nervously whimpered and made a run for it, dragging Malia off toward Virginia.

Howard Kurtz scolds Politico this morning for spinning stupid bullshit "stories" into Drudgebait, a critique we endorse. But: Physician, heal thyself.

Barack Obama's daughters have named the first dog Bo, after a cousin's cat and in honor of Michelle Obama's grandfather, who was nicknamed Diddley. Also, intrigue surrounds the leak if his identity!