A teenage volunteer firefighter in the Philadelphia suburbs has been arrested on charges that he and another teen set fire to vacant homes so that his fire department would be called to extinguish the blazes. A crime so dumb only a Philly boy could think it up.

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin put out two wildfires with his own bare hands. No, actually, he used a firefighting plane. That he built himself. No, actually, he didn't build it. He fathered it by having sex with a jet.