If you're going to burn a giant, 100-yard penis onto a football field at your high school, who are you going to ask to be your accomplice? Your cousin? The valedictorian of your class? A landscaping expert? No, asshole, your mom.

While farm animals wandering amok in city parks are often associated with agrarian cities of yesteryear, and also Texas, some Parisian officials have decided that woolly mouton are the latest chic, sophisticated addition to the 21st century metropolis.