Felix Baumgartner sat down with Savannah Guthrie on the Today Show this morning to premier some new footage from his record-breaking free fall, filmed with a helmet camera for a National Geographic documentary. He told Guthrie that he has hung up his Red Bull™ Balloon and is retiring. "I've had enough," he told her. "I've done it all."

Speed of light, speed of sound — potato, parsec. Bottom line: Dude fell really, really fast.

Yesterday, a man jumped out of space for an energy drink. This is what it looked like, from the point of view of the man.

Proving that there is nothing they will not do to ensure the phrase "it gives you wings" is permanently seared along our frontal lobes, energy drink manufacturer Red Bull has captured a man named Felix Baumgartner and imprisoned him in a tiny metal sphere. Reports indicate they plan to drop him to a certain and horrifying death some 120,000 above New Mexico and there's nothing that any of us can do about it. God have mercy.