So typical for New Yorkers to think that everything comes down to money. The New York Post's late-to-the-game article on Facebook this morning had just one interesting, unreported tidbit among the rehash: The stakes in Microsoft and Google's race to invest have been raised to as high as $1.5 billion — or 10 percent of the company, valuing it at $15 billion. Frankly, I'm skeptical. While Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg would be stupid not to take all the money he can off the table, his outside investors — a list which includes Peter Thiel, Sean Parker, and Accel Partners — don't want their stakes diluted that much. Selling off that large a chunk of Facebook would shrink their collective holdings — as much as 27 percent of the company, we hear — down to less than a quarter. That's just one reason why money doesn't matter as much as the Wall Street set would have you believe.

So how are the ad agencies on Madison Avenue reacting to Facebook's invite to a little gabfest on November 6 with Mark Zuckerberg and the rest of the Facebook gang? "You mean this black, plastic monolith?" one industry insider said, flicking the giant plastic invite Facebook sent on the other end. "Uh huh. I got one." Oh, Zuck. You are going to grow up so fast in this big city.

Need any more proof that Facebook is getting into the ad-network business? Check out its romantic overtures to big advertising agencies: AdAge reports the company has been sending chunks of carved plastic up and down Madison Avenue, inviting ad buyers to an event on November 6. Now, a Lucite brick costs about 30 cents. You can send a virtual gift on Facebook for less money than that. Despite its cheapness, though, the campaign shows that Facebook is serious about getting into advertising, and that CEO Mark Zuckerberg is a believer in his company's ad-targeting technology.

Expect more venture capital funding for Research In Motion-wannabe Visto, a wireless-email software company any minute now. CEO Brian Bogosian is once again telling any hack who will listen that the company is on an imminent path to an IPO. Bogosian's drummed up over $300 million in funding repeating the same line every couple of months since 2004. Don't expect an actual IPO this time either, a tipster tells us. "That would require some uncomfortable scrutiny," he writes. Here's a rundown of Visto's not-so-virtuous cycle.

Second Life's charm offensive is reaching epic proportions. Back in January, Valleywag emeritus Nick Denton noticed a rather disturbing trend: mounting Second Life hype. For three years after the virtual world's launch in June 2003, it remained, thankfully, widely ignored. But a BusinessWeek cover story on the first virtual millionaire, with the help of a workhorse PR agency, spurred a record 700 mentions, including press releases, as tracked in the Lexis-Nexis news database. Coverage has failed to abate, despite highly questionable user numbers and failed marketing campaigns. Why?

I've been saying it for ages: There is no Googlephone. Last week, at the Web 2.0 Summit conference, I finally got confirmation that Google's not getting into the cell-phone business. How? I overheard a rep from Foxconn, the Taiwanese electronics manufacturer, chatting up a vice president at Google. Now, I know this particular executive is utterly guileless; she wouldn't lie. And when the Foxconn rep tried to pitch her on getting a contract to make the Googlephone, she replied, flat-out, "We're not making a Googlephone."

Want to get rich quick, Facebook developers? Over here at Valleywag Labs, we've concocted an algorithm to identify exactly which ads you should target to your apps. Search the Valley. Search the Alley. You won't find a better CPM, ROI, or CTR than we'll provide. Don't believe us? Check out our demo on five popular Facebook apps below.

WEB 2.0 SUMMIT — Late last night, conference organizers assembled the "sharpest wits, biggest names and brightest lights of the Web community" for its first-ever Web Bowl, a nerdy game-show inspired trivia contest. The contestants were divided into two teams, with Digg CEO Jay Adelson, AOL founder Steve Case, angel investor Ron Conway, Yahoo "peanut butter memo" author Brad Garlinghouse, and Morgan Stanley's Mary Meeker on the "Ask Kickers" team. On the "Bubbles!" side was Microsoft techie Gary Flake, About.com founder Scott Kurnit, Ask.com CEO Jim Lanzone, AOLer Ted Leonsis, and New York Times scribe John Markoff. SpikeSource CEO Kim Polese was a lifeline for both teams. John Battelle hosted while Tim O'Reilly judged the answers. Lots of names up on stage. But the real star? Hidden in the audience.

At last, I understand the vision of synergy between News Corp. and Dow Jones. It's all about Kara Swisher, basically. The abrasive, pint-sized reporter-turned blogger spent dinner at Web 2.0 Summit locked in conversation with gregarious, pint-sized megamogul Rupert Murdoch, News Corp.'s CEO, and, come December, Swisher's boss. Swisher, of course, has been blogging hot and heavy on AllThingsD about Facebook, MySpace's chief rival. She's just the starting point. News Corp. is so vast that next year, it could easily assign an army of Wall Street Journal reporters just to cover itself. Check out the photos for Swisher's encounter with Murdoch, and more.

Oh god, Evite. It starts with an email about a party with no information about that party, and then it gets worse. But in many cases there's no reason you have to use the most popular site. Here's what to use instead of Evite, YouTube, Blogger, Twitter, Digg, and MapQuest.

The week of Web 2.0 Summit, with the industry converging on San Francisco, seems like as good time as any to throw a shindig. Everyone's in town for the schmoozefest, so you might get to meet quality people who normally avoid the party scene. While my boss hit the Reddit party, I hopped around town to some of the other events. Three, in fact. VC firm True Ventures held a gathering at their offices on Pier 38, a tech industry jam session — for charity, naturally — occurred across town at the Rickshaw Stop, and VCs Eric Chin and Mike Jung held a private party at Fluid for attendees of their intimate Alpha dinners in Woodside. Who needs sleep this week?

Does Google's new YouTube Video Identification tool mean it's backing down from its previous legal stance in the face of pressure from Viacom? A YouTube source told me no. He said the tool has been under development since before Google bought YouTube in 2006. It's just another effort to go above and beyond what's required by the law, he claimed. A pat recitation of the company's party line, of course. If that's true, why the sudden rollout, and why now? If Google really believed its case could stand up in court, why would it create the ID tool? How, exactly, does Google stand to profit?

The Internet is not an excuse to be boring, stupid, or cruel. Well, cruel's fine. So join me in taking the Pledge to Not Suck at the Internet. Those who pledge get no actual privilege or prize, and the false sense of superiority is a redundant prize for you, but you can maybe make a newsletter for yourselves.

By all rights, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg ought to be feeling drunk with power right now. He has, I'm told, term sheets in his hands from the three giants bidding for a small piece of his startup: Microsoft, Google, and Yahoo. All three, I understand, meet his demands for a staggeringly high valuation on the company — $10 billion or more. Piled up behind them are countless offers from venture capitalists and private-equity players who would be content merely to have their funds' names attached to the untouchably hot social network. So who will Zuckerberg choose?

Sci-fi writer Douglas Adams liked to trace technology back to a stick. For example, a computer is an advanced typewriter, which is an advanced pen, which is an advanced stick in the dirt. All right, can we do that with an iPod?

OutCast PR held an AfterHours party at Frisson, the restaurant co-owned by Facebook board member Peter Thiel. So cozy, since Facebook is OutCast's biggest new client! The place was overrun with hacks and flacks. No surprise, since OutCast wants to show off its chummy press relationships, and other flacks are drawn to journalists like moths to flames. And, of course, OutCast wanted to keep things well-staffed to watch over reporters chatting up executives from Facebook and Yahoo, another big OutCast client. No need, it turned out.

Everyone wants a piece of Mark Zuckerberg's baby: Microsoft, Google, and now Yahoo, according to Kara Swisher. It's widely known that Zuckerberg, CEO of the hot social network, and his backers are asking for a high price on a small stake — selling 3 to 5 percent of the company at a valuation as high as $15 billion. But what no one seems to understand is the hold Microsoft has on the company, through an exclusive advertising deal that runs through 2011 — and how eager Facebook is to get out of that deal.

A buzzword is no black swan, but when one breaks out of the long tail into the short head and hits the tipping point it still makes me question the wisdom of the crowds. But because the world is flat, I've listed a freakonomical list of the lifespan of a buzzword. Purple cow.

Michael Wallent, a general manager at Microsoft, will return to work in January as Megan Wallent. He came out to colleagues as transgender last month, first in person and then by email. Wallent says he encountered nothing but support — mixed, of course, with some awkward curiosity. That's unremarkable. Microsoft is located in the progressive Pacific Northwest, where one's less likely to raise an eyebrow at Wallent's self-discovery and more likely to worry about the politically correct term to describe it. (For the record, "sex change" is considered derogatory by many; the preferred word is "transitioning.") He's unlikely to encounter blatant transphobia on the job. He should worry instead about plain old-fashioned sexism. How will Wallent's developers react when they come to work on January 2 and it hits them: They're working for a girl?

FROM THE DESK OF MEGAN MCCARTHY — So, there's a Craigslist ad making the rounds, penned by a golddigging New Yorker looking for tips on how to wed a rich man. In Silicon Valley, of course, things are a bit different. Below is the same missive as if it were written by a local.