So that people would start talking about their new show, The Doctors, medical professionals Travis Stork and Drew Ordon extolled the medical benefits of urine by drinking it and wiping it on their faces earlier this week. On television. Really.

Apple hates people walking off with its iPhones, but it's hard to imagine CEO Steve Jobs going as far as Roger Witter. The Oregon illustrator fired two rounds at thieves stealing iPhones from an AT&T store.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer won her battle for racist immigration laws, but she's not done with her border war. Now she wants "the airplanes, the drones, the helicopters" from Afghanistan and Iraq patrolling her border.

Columbia University's General Studies valedictorian Brian Corman copied a Patton Oswalt joke verbatim in his valedictory speech. Between this and Ann Curry's inability to identify which college she was addressing, this year's is one bum commencement crop.

Puerto Rican-born US citizen Eduardo Caraballo was arrested in Illinois and threatened with deportation—back to Mexico. Once officials got his birth certificate, it only took them three days to figure out he wasn't Mexican. Uh.

Mark Zuckerberg made headlines the other day for emailing Robert Scoble. But it might not have been the Facebook CEO's own words that reached the blogger, since Zuckerberg employs a "ghostwriter" named Kate Losse, we're told.

The Washington Post ran a de facto Facebook press release in its op-ed section today. It was a bizarre decision; the newspaper's already embroiled in one ethics scandal, so why cuddle up to a close, public friend of the paper?

Google co-founder Sergey Brin couldn't make it to a science gala this past weekend, so he went as a robot he could control remotely. It's a little creepy and a little awesome.

I didn't plan to pick a fight with Steve Jobs last night. It just sort of happened: An iPad advertisement ticked me off; I sent the Apple CEO an angry email; he told me about "freedom from porn."

Has the war on drugs failed? Well, drugs still exist, so, yes! U.S. Drug Czar Gil Kerlikowske agrees: "In the grand scheme, [the war on drugs] has not been successful." So, maybe we can stop shooting people's dogs now? [AP]

Scientists believe that most animals show emotions through facial expressions, just like humans—which means maybe your dog can smile. How did they come to this conclusion? The same way all scientists come to all conclusions: By torturing mice.

When we've seen dancing soldiers videos before, the gay references were in the eye of the beholder. Not so with these soldiers who say (or read?) "It's alright to be gay in the military," then dance to Ke$ha.

Isn't it adorable when the little old ladies of Code Pink get all radical leftist on the men who rule(d) America? Here's a white-haired lady with a cane attempting a citizen's arrest of Karl Rove at a book signing.

For the first time in 300 years, a gray whale was spotted outside the Pacific Ocean. The stray gray swam to Israel, a sign either of global warming or that a guy named Jonah is gonna get it. [USA Today]

Huckleberry Hound face model Brit Hume was on Fox News today, criticizing Barack Obama for hating iPads. He was very confused. Doesn't Obama—with his websites and stuff—love technology? Then Hume's video feed cut out. Barack's techno revenge!

[According to a study by IBM, New York office drones spent a combined 22.5 years waiting for or riding elevators at work last year. That's more than any other city. Image via IBM.]

Ayla Brown, the American Idol-singing daughter of Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown, just landed a job as a CBS Early Show contributor. Old nepotism: Inheriting your parent's political seat. New nepotism: Parlaying it into a media career.

A California woman has filed a class-action lawsuit against the unaccredited Trump University claiming she was swindled into spending $60,000 on bogus seminars and a trip to Home Depot. Swindled by Donald Trump! Imagine that!

When Larry King's eighth divorce became public knowledge, we quickly found out that Larry was in love with his wife's sister and his wife was diddling their kids' baseball coach. Now that coach wants to cash in by baring all.

[As part of Great Britain's get out of the vote effort, the London Zoo's meerkats have been given mock ballots and a red post office box to demonstrate how easy it is to vote. Image via Splash.]