Every act of celebrity self-destruction has an equal but opposite act of fameball creation. O.J. gave us Kato Kaelin; Tiger's sex addiction unleashed an army of porn stars. And now, meet Miley Cyrus's bong-ripping foil: self-proclaimed spotlight seeker Rachael Moran.

Jersey Shore's DJ Paulie D beat out Snooki, JWOWW, and the rest of the crew and signed a deal for his own spin-off. It will most likely focus on his DJ career and definitely on his rather intricate hair preparation.

After hearing about Jason Hope's "amazing, star-studded" $500,000 Christmas party, we declared him Party King of Scottsdale. But wait—isn't Dan Quayle's airhead sex blogger of a son from Scottsdale? Let's see what Ben's bros have to say.

That might be difficult to explain to her partner. This all-American actor is turning into a bitter boozebag, and this actress got herpes from her new boyfriend. If they're not getting you pregnant they're giving you something else!

Mayer whispers dirty nothings into a strange female's ear. Jennifer Aniston has a 20-foot no-touch zone. Taylor Momsen is a Parisian style icon. Lindsay Lohan sips Shirley Temples. Thursday gossip is sexual napalm.

Here's a trailer for Cedar Rapids, an indie comedy starring Ed Helms in his first leading role. The movie is directed by The Good Girl's Miguel Arteta and produced by Midwestern mastermind Alexander Payne, so odds are it'll be good!

A former Guantanamo Bay detainee is accusing the U.S. of using witches and Jews to abuse inmates there. While the Bush Administration's use of Jews in the war on terror is well known, this is the first report of witches.

It's pretty embarrassing when you're trying to show off your bad-ass classic car and the gas pedal gets accidentally stuck. It's even more embarrassing when that causes you to drive onto the lawn of a former president.

As a star of the TLC reality series My Strange Addictions, April Brucker claims to be so addicted to ventriloquism that her fiance made her choose to between him and her puppets. But not all is as it seems!

A recently released Wikileaks cable reveals how Anna Nicole Smith scandalized an island nation: "Not since Category 4 Hurricane Betsy made landfall in 1965 has one woman done as much damage in Nassau," reads the previously classified diplomatic cable. Wow!

For the past two days, Steve Martin has been amusing the masses with Twitter dispatches from jury duty. Didn't Al Roker get in trouble for the same thing last year? Guess Steve gets points for being funny. Sample tweets inside.

Whatever happened to the culture warriors? Everyone is either a gay soldier or a black president nowadays. Or perhaps even a pot decriminalizing televangelist? This is old Pat Robertson, now. Pat Robertson is sick of the War on Marijuana.

A Texas high school softball player has sued her coach and school because, the student claims, her coach told her mother that she's a lesbian. Which is usually not how you want your mom to find out you're gay.

One year and two months after drunkenly torching a 9/11 memorial on Halloween, Harvard Law grad Brian Schroeder pleaded guilty to three charges. "I cannot explain why I acted the way I did," he explained. "I drank many alcoholic beverages."

Oscar-winning wizard of technique Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Oceans Etc.) is going to call it quits after a few more movies. Says his regular collaborator Matt Damon, "He's kind of exhausted with everything that interested him." He might try painting next.

People have strong feelings about whether or not hunting animals is moral, but Dutch production company Cake Film has a slyly ironic and rather amusing video about how hunting during this time of year can be especially perilous. Enjoy!

Jason Hope is a Scottsdale, Arizona entrepreneur. He recently made headlines for throwing a $500,000 Christmas party featuring Ludacris ($100,000 performance fee) and Snooki ($17,500 appearance fee). Why would he do that? We asked his publicist.

House Republicans are preparing their schedule for the opening days of the new Congress. First up: reading the entire Constitution on the House floor. The text is impossible to find anywhere, so thanks, House Republicans. Freedom!

When the owner of a Beverly Hills eatery spotted the L.A. Times restaurant critic in his lobby, he refused her service and took her picture, making her identity publicly available for the first time. Kiss anonymity goodbye, S. Irene Virbila.

Bill Clinton's 65th birthday party may be held at LA's 20,000-seat Staples Center, where the likes of Paul McCartney, Mary J. Blige, and Jay-Z could perform. And "every A-lister in town will be scrambling to get an invite," allegedly.