This weekend was a battle between nostalgia and what's new and now and, as always, new and now won out. Also this weekend, lots of people went to see Hop and Atlas Shrugged, so we should be ashamed of ourselves.
When this show returns to the air, there will be plenty to gossip about, but here is the dirt on the various cast members that producers don't want you to know—including one star's prostitution past. It appears she's always gotten paid to fake it.
Remember a couple of months ago when an outbreak of Legionnaire's disease (Legionellosis) sickened over a hundred guests at the Playboy Mansion? L.A. County public health officials have traced the sometimes deadly disease to a "whirlpool spa," according to The Los Angeles Times. Makes sense, because Legionnaire's is "transmitted from contaminated aerosols generated in hot tubs if the disinfection and maintenance program is not done rigorously." Gross.
T.S. Eliot famously said that April is the cruelest month. He wasn't kidding. Here are the awful, torturous signs that the worst season—spring—has finally arrived.
We know. We know! Cutesy internet baby animal bullshit is just the worst. Worse even than email signatures with inspirational quotes! What are we, your aunt? And yet we are helpless in the face of this baby penguin being tickled. You watch it, and tell us that you wouldn't have posted it, too.
Don't worry, folks! The crisis at Japan's Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear power plant should be "over by the end of the year," according to a timeline from plant operator Tepco. "Over," in this case, means that the reactors will be cooled. (Radiation leaks will be "reduced" in three months.) Once "cold shutdown" is achieved, the reactors will be entombed in concrete and contaminated soil will be cleaned up; right now, Tepco is taking readings at the damaged plant through the use of remote-controlled robots. [BBC]
An anonymous Ukranian buyer purchased the most expensive apartment in the United Kingdom in 2007, paying $221 million in cash through an offshore trust to buy the penthouse of the One Hyde Park apartment complex. What does $221 million get you?
Nic Cage can't find his house, or a willing tattoo artist. Dog the Bounty Hunter comes through in the clutch. Prince Harry gets a promotion (not to king, if that's what you're thinking). Sunday gossip gets ruined by uglies.
As you know, everything you eat is bad for you, unless you are eating leafy green vegetables. But, we learn this weekend from The New York Times Magazine's Gary Taubes, sugar is extra-bad for you. Like, cigarettes-level bad for you.
On Thursday night, 19-year-old Kipp Rusty Walker played the keyboard for a small crowd at a cafe open-mic night in Bend, Ore. Then he stood up, produced a small blade, and stabbed himself in the chest until he collapsed, dead. Walker didn't say anything before he committed suicide; the cafe's owner (who wasn't present) says that her employees thought at first it was "some sort of theater." KTVZ spoke with a friend of Walker, who sound less surprised:
Ocherous churl Donald Trump slouched beast-like to Fox News on Friday night, where he engaged in something called "The Trump Interview" with right-wing backboard Sean Hannity. It was, yes, essentially unwatchable, but Trump revealed, in the course of the evening, that he has become a subscriber to the third most prevalent anti-Obama conspiracy, namely, that Obama's book Dreams From My Father was written by former Weatherman and current "super-genius" Bill Ayers. Ernest Hemingway was brought up, as was Trump's own opus, The Art of the Deal:
When Bill Maher brought up Senator Jon Kyl's intentionally false statement about Planned Parenthood's propensity to perform abortions on last night's Real Time, panelists Ed Schultz and Michael Steele disagreed with each other about the egregiousness of Kyl's fib. It was contentious, yes, but boy oh boy was that just the tip of their shouty iceberg!
Actor Nicolas Cage was arrested for domestic battery in New Orleans on Friday night—just a month after being escorted out of a restaurant by police. Apparently an intoxicated Cage was arguing loudly with his wife as the couple got in a taxi when the cabbie called police and said he'd seen Cage grab his wife, Alice. Police showed up and told them to "just go home," and then Cage, as is his wont, asked the police "Why don't you just arrest me?" They promptly did. The actor's been released on $11,000 bail after being charged with "domestic abuse and disturbing the peace." His wife isn't pressing charges and says there was no physical contact. [TMZ; Times-Picayune]
Rick Santorum is backing away from the campaign slogan featured on the website for his exploratory committee, "Fighting to Make America America again," after it was pointed out to him that it was first made famous in a pro-union poem by the gay poet Langston Hughes.
Famous internet meme Rebecca Black is, according to TMZ, putting together an EP with producer Charlton Pettus (pictured), best known for working, in the 90s, with the guy from Tears for Fears who didn't write any of their good songs. So, yes, it will probably be bad, but not in the same wonderful way as "Friday" was. Also, she will probably not cover "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," which is too bad, because, when all is said and done, that's a pretty good song. In related news, police are investigating two threats made against Black.
While it's still, obviously, legal to watch cops ticket a cyclist for riding his bike on the sidewalk, we recommend not cracking any jokes—even at the cyclist's expense—because then you might get arrested. As this gentleman learned.
Gwyneth Paltrow diagnoses her haters. Tareq Salahi strips down. Black Swan gets a little bit real-life crazy. Amanda Seyfried buys a dead horse. Saturday gossip is—as always—projecting.
