In your finally Friday media column: the internet hordes claim another victim, The National steals stories, a foolproof new plan for online media success, an unappealing headline, and CNET's editor heads to Yahoo.
Taking the eight guidos from Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, to Italy was supposed to get them in touch with their roots—to give them a sense of their place in the universe. Instead, it only created so many monsters.
In Portland, Oregon, one parent's bright idea and several years of planning and government grants had made the REAL Prep Charter Academy—a high school with a recording and arts program based in hip hop culture—a near reality. Do not insert easy joke here! The idea seems good. The execution was... embarrassing.
Ron Paul's online army was terrified yesterday to see a Reuters photo from a debate commercial moment in which Rick Perry puts his hand on Paul's arm, points his finger at him, and appears likely to eat his face off. So did Rick Perry beat the crap out of our noble Doctor Congressman while the television cameras were off? According to Ron Paul... no, obviously not.
Elisabetta Canalis discusses her break-up with Clooney. Chris Brown gets out of 95 parking tickets. Ali Lohan didn't get plastic surgery, might have gotten an eating disorder. Matt Damon envies Jake Gyllenhaal's head. TGIFriday gossip.
Yikes. A sad, strange story today from El Paso. El Paso exists! That's the sad, strange story. No, no, just kidding. The story is that a female tiger at the El Paso Zoo killed her mate for some reason.
This celeb monster-in-law is feeding rumors about her son's famous wife in hopes of breaking up the marriage. A different actress isn't having sex with her famous husband. It probably has nothing to do with either of their mothers.
For once in their miserable lives, the grizzled wackos of Kansas' Westboro Baptist Church (we've them to thank for "God Hates Fags") are doing something we almost half agree with. Namely, they're protesting New York Fashion Week.
It seems like we've heard every last story remotely connected to the events of 9/11. But I'd never heard this one: the one about the female fighter pilot who came thisclose to a patriotic suicide mission that day.
I bet the whole first half of this ad isn't even Tom Brady's feet. I bet he was like "Look, I'll do your UGG ad for a billion dollars but no way am I actually putting a pair of UGGs on my feet, even though I am the world's biggest metrosexual. That's not even manly enough for me, and look at my haircut." Also Mos Def changed his name immediately after doing the soundtrack to this ad, for obvious reasons.
The cast of Two and a Half Men appeared on tonight's Late Show to present David Letterman's Top 10 list of reasons to still tune in. But as you'll see in this video, Ashton Kutcher sort of seems over it already, so... points at least for being self-aware?
A man from Tacoma is under arrest after having approached a neighbor at his apartment complex at 4 p.m. on Wednesday, and asking them if he could dump a dead body in their trash.
Ahead of Sunday's 10th anniversary of 9/11, Stephen Colbert interviewed former NBC Nightly News anchor Tom Brokaw on tonight's Report about what he was doing when he learned of the attacks, how he got through the day, and the degree to which the tragedy changed America. You'll find all of Brokaw's responses in this video, but let's just quickly address the first one: he was in the middle of a yoga class.
You know how you know you're probably a miserable, murderous, Middle East tyrant? When Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad calls you up and says, "Bashie? Mahmoud here. Oh, good, good. Azam and the kids are terrific! Thanks for asking. Listen, Bash, I absolutely adore your work. You know that. Great stuff. There's no one who can brutally put down an uprising like you can. Oh, stop, you flatter me. That? That was barely an uprising! That was, like, two undergrads with a Tweeter machine and a little tear gas. No, but you. You're the man. You can't see this, but I'm high-fiving you right now! Ha ha ha! No, but listen hear me out for a second here. Maybe you should think about turning down the dial a bit on this whole 'mass-murdering of your own people' thing? What? No! Not too much! Never too much. But you know how the Westerners are. They're all 'barbaric' this, 'unarmed protesters mowed down with gunboats' that. Oh crap! I'm late for my two o'clock gay hanging. Can we pick this up tomorrow? You got it. Send my love to Asma. Saw the Vogue spread. Fabulous."
Here's some disturbing video, allegedly shot in Russia some time last week, of a polar bear attacking a woman in a back alley. The bear — and how it got there remains a mystery even Damon Lindelof would be hard-pressed to explain — then flees, possibly because a horrified onlooker threw something at it. Then, shockingly, the woman stands up and walks away, her torn pants dangling around her ankles. (This image has led some anonymous online analysts to suggest she was peeing at the time of the attack, which is idiotic.) That last part makes the first part tolerable, but be warned: Seeing a bear throw a human being around like a bag of sardines is extremely disturbing. [Daily Mail]
