We all knew the Mega Millions frenzy would eventually turn into a depressing cauldron of sadness. A McDonald's worker in Baltimore, Maryland says she has the one winning ticket sold in her state, but her coworkers claim the ticket was bought as part of a lottery pool. Though she's probably just making the whole thing up.
Kids these days are sellouts. As you know. As soon as they set foot on a college campus, boom, they all want to become a "brand ambassador" for some energy drink company or casual clothing brand in order to bless the brand with the hot sexxxy "halo effect" that their young, nubile, innocent bodies offer. Sweet innocence of youth; thou shalt be the biggest generation of corporate sellouts ever, forsooth. Even worse: sellouts these days are nerds.
On tonight's Late Show with David Letterman, Keith Olbermann attempted to explain what exactly went wrong for him at Current TV. He did so with an analogy about a $10 million chandelier being installed in an unworthy building. It's pretty easy to guess who's who in the analogy.
As we know by now, Rick Santorum is no fan of college; recently he took aim at California's state schools for not offering courses in American History. Too bad the claim is completely false, as Stephen Colbert made clear on tonight's Colbert Report. The only question that remains is where exactly did Santorum pull that fact from? You know the answer.
The director of the one of the world's top universities, the Institute of Political Studies in Paris (known popularly and in your French oral examens as Sciences Po), Richard Descoings, was found dead in a New York hotel room Tuesday afternoon. Police have opened an investigation into his death, because the circumstances surrounding it bear more than a passing resemblance to the opening scene of the Da Vinci code, which is to say, they are suspicious.
Was there any chance that Sarah Palin's Today Show appearance would escape the eye of Jon Stewart? Nope, not by a long shot. Stewart opened tonight's Daily Show with a complete breakdown of Palin's appearance, from her completely fabricated opening anecdote to the one sentence that epitomizes every part of her brand.
Eric Schmidt has either gone through a sudden midlife transformation or is a hopelessly tangled web of contradictions. Either way, the Google chairman and longtime CEO wants to make one thing clear: He is still devoted to his wife, despite all the, you know, extramarital girlfriends.
A homeless man in Anderson, Indiana was arrested Monday after police found him playing "baseball" with a severed cat head.
Teenage boys have long been stigmatized as riskier drivers than teenage girls. Twenty years ago, they paid double the insurance premium of their female counterparts. Now the danger (and insurance premium) gap is closing, as young divas emerge from their shells like beautiful Botticellian Venuses, texting and sexting and working that radio while driving like the boys used to do. The result: today young men's insurance premiums are only about 25 percent more than young women's. (Women also make 77 cents to men's dollar.)
Back on February 8th, a British telecommunications company let one quarter of its 12,000 employees work from home. The results of that experiment are in, and it seems that, basically, everything is more amazing when you can futz around in your pajamas all day instead of putting on clothing like a respectable human being.
This morning, Sarah Palin "guest hosted" on the Today Show, meaning that besides an interview with Matt Lauer, Palin cropped up in a few other segments. In this compilation of her most inane moments, she bangs her usual drums about the lamestream media and Obama's socialist policies, and, of course, she couldn't appear on national TV without an incredibly conspicuous "aw jeez, Matt."
America freaked out yesterday when a new terrorist meme surfaced, a mock movie poster promising "Al Qaeda: Coming Soon Again in New York." Much of the concern over this Photoshop of Doom was sparked over its strangely slick 3D appearance. But it turns out 3D graphic design is super trendy in the world of Islamic militant message boards.
Where some liberals see a disgusting concoction of spare beef parts that was once only fit for dog food, Stephen Colbert sees the heart of America: yes, pink slime is as beefy as the Republican Governors who have stood up for it. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen urges that you reconsider your position on the matter because "dude, it's beef."
Mitt Romney is the presumptive GOP nominee and a lot of prominent Republicans have endorsed him in recent weeks. Yet, for some reason, everyone who endorses him seems to not be truly sold on Romney, they're just picking him because there's no else. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart broke it all down.
Governor Rick Perry is a moron, by almost any account. But a far more dangerous personal affliction may have doomed him from the start: an inability to pee without singing folk songs. An exclusive excerpt from Politico's upcoming e-book Inside the Circus reveals a devastating bathroom anecdote that could capsize Perry's political career:
