Here's a trailer for Big Miracle, a true-life story of a bunch of people who got together to save some whales. Because everybody loves whales. In fact, the movie used to be called Everybody Loves Whales.

The sun is shining bright for Tumblr today. The microblogging platform raised $85 million and was heralded as "bigger than Wikipedia." But Tumblr's explosive growth has been driven by huge quantities of porn and spam, and that seems to make the startup uncomfortable.

R.E.M. broke up last week, but don't be too sad. See, lots of people are still making music all the time, much of it noteworthy. Here are a few recent happenings in music that we'd love for you to be up on, if you're not already.

In your magical Monday media column: Andy Rooney lives, Patch is a hard gig, Menupages sells for millions, Julian Assange lives the country life, and David Gergen lives getting naked with George Clooney.

Last night on Andy Cohen's Trivial Pursuit with Trivial People self-proclaimed millionare matchmaker Patti Stanger had some lousy dating advice for gay men. One of the things she said is, "no one wants a queen." You're wrong, Patti. Plenty of people want a queen.

Well looky here, it's some white girls doing a rap on YouTube. There is some precedent for this. But "candy rapper and double K" could save Rick Perry's presidential campaign from its, uh, modest, transient dip over the past week, by lending him this theme song! Watch them babble nonsense for a couples of minutes without any connection to the beat, just like Rick Perry does when he tries to attack Mitt Romney. Is this parody? Whether it is or it isn't, it is. [Mother Jones via Uproxx]

Last week, we brought you the disquieting news that Starbucks had begun its plan to methodically rid its stores of freeloading laptop hobos. Isolated incident of a single laptopian overstaying his welcome, or foreboding foreshadowing of a new corporate policy?

The early glimpse we got of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in the upcoming The Dark Knight Rises was troubling, but not that troubling. Well, get ready to be actually troubled by new production photos in which we see the full pussy.

Anonymous is on the hunt for the cop featured in a video pepper-spraying Occupy Wall Street protesters for no apparent reason. They say they've found him, and are circulating a document with his and his family's personal information. This could get ugly.

Americans are not the sort of slobs who are satisfied with simply consuming a drab, tasteless burger in a hobo-infested fast food restaurant hastily rebranded as a "cafe." Americans are the sort of slobs who want their burgers fast—but casual. Americans want a slightly wider selection of toppings available on their burgers, and they want to consume those burgers in a very slightly more attractive setting than a Burger King bathroom. Americans demand this!

Which Republican politician's turn is it next to be summoned into the presidential race and then immediately dismissed and hated by the party base over a pragmatic policy stance or two? Perhaps the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who still has no interest in running for president but may be kidnapped in the middle of the night by a few whiny hedge fund managers and reprogrammed (forced at gunpoint) into "taking the plunge."

Here's a trailer for Joyful Noise, the new church choir movie (yes) that stars Queen Latifah (yes!) and Dolly Parton (yessssssss!). So basically this is the buchest, straightest movie of the year!

Fox News' favorite media reporter, NewsBeast's Howie Kurtz, has a new piece out about how Roger Ailes has gone soft, "repositioning" Fox News to be less overtly racist and "pull[ing] back a bit on the throttle" of inchoate conspiratorial rage directed against Obama. Kurtz's source for this objectively verifiable fact is Fox chief Roger Ailes, so you know it's true.

A computer programmer testing the "Infinite Monkey Theorem"—that, with enough time, a monkey randomly mashing a typewriter would eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare—says his virtual monkeys will soon complete the works, way ahead of their infinity deadline!

We all know the economy is bad, but how bad is it? So bad that New Yorkers can't afford to shovel blow into their faces like its closing night at Studio 54. Damn, that's really bad. But is it true?

I can imagine last year at the Emmy's when Mad Men won for the third year in a row that all the networks execs were sitting around thinking, "We need to get us a Mad Men!" What came out of that thought is ABC's Pan Am, but their sweet '60s nostalgia lozenge isn't anywhere as easy to swallow as the original.

Fashion magazines have never taken seriously the idea of a "Chinese Wall" separating advertising and editorial. That's not their thing. Their thing is fashion! Still. Much like kids these days, fashion magazines are selling out more spectacularly than ever.

J.Lo parties until 3:30AM, and looks like she might be straining herself. LuAnn de Lesseps dances on a table. Who stole David Copperfield's precious magician award? Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger need three larger-than-life bronze statues of himself? Monday gossip goes too far.

The lions of Pride Rock reigned supreme again this week — even golden lion-human Brad Pitt couldn't dethrone them. And Pitt was almsot defeated by a dolphin as well. What do the animals have against Brad Pitt??

This TV host and his boyfriend carried out a scheme to bilk an older actress out of her money. This former teen star is a giant mess. And this talk show host can't let the public know his wife is cheating. But is she cheating on him with an older actress for money?