It's been a while since a militant Muslim leader called for the death of Salman Rushdie — too long if you ask Ayatollah Hassan Sanei.

Author Salman Rushdie is pissed at the former British cop who wrote a tell-all about his time guarding the ladies' man of letters when he was under the threat of a big ol' fatwa from the Ayatollah-haha, he outlived you, jerk!-in 1989. "Rushdie told The Guardian that the book portrayed him as 'mean, nasty, tight-fisted, arrogant and extremely unpleasant.'" Said Rushdie, "In my humble opinion, I am none of those things [...] I am not trying to prevent him from publishing this stupid book, but if they publish it there will be consequences and there will be a libel action."