Upon hearing The National Enquirer's report that Jenny Craig fired Kirstie Alley because she is just too darn fat, we stopped picturing Jenny as a cute Southern mommy type who just wants us to be healthy and began suspecting she's more like that undermining ex-boyfriend of ours who just wanted us to be Angelina Jolie. Adding extra salt on the wound, Jenny Craig has reportedly replaced her with Queen Latifah, who's pledged to lose 25 pounds as soon as that pesky Pizza Hut contract expires. But the reasons behind the corporate ax may have had less to do with Kirstie's inability to shed pounds, and more to do with a little religion Tom Cruise likes to call Scientology.