Classy fashion rag Harper's Bazaar ran a photo spread of insane model and television personality Tyra Banks dressed as possible first lady Michelle Obama. Why? Because... Tyra's black... and a lady? Sure! Daily Intel suggests that maybe the real Michelle Obama turned them down, but we're willing to give Bazaar's editors the benefit of the doubt and assume that this was their stupid, stupid plan from the very beginning. They released a little video from the shoot, and Tyra says some nonsense and a Bazaar editor says some nonsense and then they all go to White Castle, because they are all higher than you've ever been in your life. Video below!

Eagle-eyed commenter Raincoaster noticed something funny about the picture we posted last night of Bee Shaffer: The daughter of Vogue editor Anna Wintour was wearing an Oscar De La Renta dress last seen in July on the back of actress Jennifer Lopez. But it was barely on her back. As pointed out with varying degrees of cruelty on lolebrity and D-Listed, one photo showed how famously-voluptuous Lopez didn't quite fit the dress, so it had to be held onto her body with some sort of rope or scrunchy or something. Now Shaffer is prancing back into New York with that same dress elegantly draped over her wispy, fashion-friendly frame. COINCIDENCE?

Sartorial scandal alert: Is the upcoming Seth Rogen film Pineapple Express guilty of wanton t-shirt design theft? A small Brooklyn t-shirt maker called WOWCH says that co-star James Franco's character appears in the movie wearing shark-and-kitten shirt that is really just a slightly altered version of a WOWCH design that was sold at Urban Outfitters in 2005. But the big stars don't give the little guys credit at all! The photographic evidence for this potential merchandising mockery-and the demands for redress-after the jump.

At the risk of overdoing our coverage of monsters and hellspawn, we present this lovely picture of Anna Wintour and her daughter Bee Shaffer, snapped by a Columbia acquaintance of Shaffer at a recent party. The outdoor dinner featured lamb chops (not overdone!) and seems to have been convened at least partly to fête young Bee, presumably upon her return from a semester in London. Despite the mean things sometimes said about her mother, Shaffer herself retains much of the glow from her regal fashion lineage, thanks to outfits like the one she wore to the Costume Institute Gala this year and generally positive reports in her wake at internships at New York, Teen Vogue and so forth. Since we last checked in with her in 2006, Shaffer seems to have stopped writing her column for the UK's Telegraph and ceased contributing to the Columbia Spectator and its magazine. But she may have picked up a boyfriend! Check out the party picture after the jump.

Calvin Klein has produced an ad campaign featuring a sultry actress flashing a nipple. That ad has now been banned from TV in America, resulting in a heap of free press for CK and its new fragrance. Could this standard-issue fashion PR masterstroke have been purposeful? A CK exec says it's "not entirely" a surprise that the ad showing Hitch starlet Eva Mendes writhing around naked on a bed (covered only by a strategically rumpled sheet) has been rejected by US networks. (It shows her nipple, duh!) The creative director behind it is maintaining a sense of righteous outrage, but this is clearly a well-executed textbook case of manufacturing controversy for publicity. Yes, we have the ad after the jump.

Have you had the traumatic experience of seeing Madonna without her makeup recently? The lower left thumbnail gives you a taste of the dreadful experience. But despite this sometimes ghastly visage, Madonna's face is considered something of a model for rich and vain women of a certain age, and New York magazine this month tracked down perhaps the most acclaimed sculptor of their flesh, Dr. David Rosenberg. Just to give you some idea of the pride he takes in his work: Rosenberg nearly weeps when he is informed that many divas have begun referring to one of his signature looks as "the Rosenberg nose." The key to his technique — and to what New York calls the "new new face" — is not the old stretching upward of the entire facial skin, but instead an under-skin lifting of the muscles of the lower face, preserving essential facial "architecture." A regimen of injections of fat and collagen and whatnot supplements this work by creating the appearance of baby fat. Even the young Olsen twins are maybe having some of this work done, the magazine artfully implies!

Everything is different now: for the first time in recorded history, the mysterious and porny American Apparel ad spoofer has struck in Brooklyn. Manhattan is so over! Is this a good thing or a bad thing to Brooklyn gentrification opponents, philosophically speaking? The new piece is also directly next to an AA store, perhaps marking an escalation in the conflict between spoof in commerce. Or a confluence? So many questions. One thing we are sure of: this spoofer fears neither male nor female private parts, at least in line drawing form. We feel the time has come for Dov Charney to speak out directly on his, uh, admirer. Click through for a larger pic of the latest, uh, artwork:

Sean Avery, the hockey star whose love for fashion took him to an internship at Vogue, is now said to be dating a woman 23 years his senior. But not just any older woman: Kelly Klein, 51, spent 20 childless years married to designer Calvin Klein, who recently opened up about his bisexuality and past gay exploits. After the divorce, she became a surrogate mother. Avery has taken teasing from teammates and unwelcome questions from journalists about his sexuality, so the demonstratively straight athlete could end up subject to ribbing about his girlfriend's taste in men. That would be unfair and backward, but what's refreshing about Avery — not always a beloved athlete, to say the least — has been his willingness to enjoy the things he loves, from fashion to art to sports, without worrying about whispers or labels. [Post]

Ladies, have a look at this ad featuring skinny supermodel Kate Moss. How does it make you feel? Wait, let me tell you how it makes you feel: it makes you hate your own body, but really want to purchase that handbag Kate Moss is advertising! What am I, psychic? No, I'm just telling you what the advertising industry has discovered in a breakthrough new study about skinny models. Women love to hate themselves and keep coming back for more, apparently! The actual, scientific study found that "ads featuring thin models made women feel worse about themselves but better about the brands featured." They make you despise your own "normal" body, and subconsciously try to correct the situation with therapy consisting of shopping. Oh, the pretty girls have all the pretty brands! A Villanova professor who ran the study ferreted out just what advertisers bank on: masochism. ""The really interesting result we're seeing across multiple studies is that these thin models make women feel bad, but they like it," he said. The advertising industry always knew you were a bad, bad girl. And in the most entertaining twist to this whole thing, the study also found that images of skinny models make women stop eating. Surprise!:

"A silvery shade of purple happens to be in vogue at the moment because it goes with a lot of the gray fabrics of the season. But in this election, the news media's objectivity has also been part of the story." [Times]

Men are suddenly wearing shorts to work, with ties and dress shoes and everything! And also muscle shirts and panama hats! Judging by the pictures in the Times style piece on the matter, they tend to look quite awkward. Who should we blame for this degenerate flaunting of the irresistible hairy male leg? The media in general and, in particular, Vogue's Sean Avery and CNN's Anderson Cooper. They made it cool to flash some skin, along with that ultimate arbiter of cool, Barack Obama:

I do not have one single informed or worthwhile opinion about women's fashion, except this: The existence of "Spanx" is a bad thing. Shoving one's thighs, buttocks, and midsection into a tight spandex tube that crushes you like a hot dog casing does not count as "reshaping your body." It counts as "cutting off blood flow to vital organs." Spanx represent deception and instant gratification in the form of underwear, which explains their popularity and their status as a celebrity must-have. So I guess it's not surprising that the company's founder and president credits her success to "my butt":

Remember how yesterday we told bloggers they should insist on getting paid because "someone is making money off your work and your content?" That argument applies to the creative side of pretty much any corporate media endeavor. But all rules have their exceptions, and Exhibit A, for today at least, is Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn. For the show's first season, Gunn worked for free, it has emerged in court. Meanwhile, Harvey Weinstein and his Weinstein Co. were milking the show for every last dollar. In season two, Gunn took home just $2,500 per episode. These days, of course, he has his own spinoff program, a best-selling book and a cushy executive suite gig at Liz Claiborne. So should everyone go throwing their labor around for free? Of course not! Here's why it worked for Gunn:

There have been all kinds of rumors floating around about Marc Jacobs marrying Lorenzo Matrone, the upmarket Brazilian alternative to former rentboy Jason Preston. There was even a report of a very special brunch in Paris to be followed by a vacation together, which sounded suspiciously like a reception and honeymoon. To get to the bottom of the story, Fashion Week Daily went to the trouble of tracking down not one but TWO of the designer's flacks (GOD can that man NEVER commit??). Spoiler: Jacobs, officially at least, continues to enjoy the precious freedoms necessary for his admirable life as a sexual libertine. That is to say, he is not married. But just to be extra sure, Fashion Week Daily interviewed everyone who has ever worked for, talked to or looked at Marc Jacobs, ever:

Newest lifestyle trend: salons that are combined with fitness centers (how has the Observer missed this one?). The salon, JF Gymnastique in Manhattan, is run by a Frederic Fekkai alumnus; the little fitness center-only three people at a time, please- also has "a team of chiropractors, acupuncturists, soft-tissue specialists, massage therapists, and nutritional counselors offer a range of à la carte services to complement clients' workout routines." As well as "a private locker room, replete with Frette towels and bath and body products from Phyto and Roger & Gallet." Upcoming lifestyle trend: the least hardcore gyms ever. [NYS]

Portfolio's fashion blog posted a blind item yesterday about a luxury fashion marketing exec who has terrorized her underlings for years, and is now about to be cut loose, although she doesn't know it yet. We hear the exec in question is Ann Taylor Davis, who's at Tumi (for now). Or so the rumor goes! You can say you heard it on a blog, Ann. [Fashion Inc.]

We dislike giving any unnecessary PR to [bad designer], the L.E.S. twit who duped the free NYC paper Metro into putting him on its cover for a racist publicity stunt about a (probably nonexistent) attack by a pack of young black girls on a poor "victim" wearing a [bad designer] t-shirt that said "OBAMA IS MY SLAVE." But sometimes it's important to give coverage to those shining beacons of stupidity among us, so that we all know how not to act. Jewish Week tracked down [bad designer, who's Jewish] for an interview about his bad reputation. Sample: "'I've received death threats on the phone, especially from black people,' [b.d.] said. How did he know, over the phone, their ethnicity? 'They sound African-American.'" There's more!

First it was young, elegant Carine Roitfeld, making Vogue publishing look slightly effortless and more-than-a-little spunky from her perch in Paris. Then there was Franco Sozzani, reminding everyone with her all-black issue that Italian Vogue "has gained a reputation for being more about art and ideas than commerce." Now, fashion blogger Bryanboy reminds us, Aliona Doletskaya is the latest editor of a baby Vogue to arguably upstage American editor Anna Wintour, having reached her 10th anniversary at the healm of the fashion title's Russian edition. "Month after month after month, she offers original content, she uses models for her covers and her editorials are very bold, strong and in your face," Bryanboy writes. Well, sure, but there's also the fact that she can fly helicopters! Also: In 10 years, she sees herself flying across continents on an airplane. Considered that fair warning, Anna. Click the video icon for excerpts of Russia Today's half-hour profile. [Byranboy]

Poor Nike just cannot catch a break these days. First all the gays and their blog commenter followers got upset about Nike's new ads featuring a guy with his nuts in another guy's face, which some say are homophobic. (Nike's ad agency would like you all to STFU with your whining about that, BTW). And this controversy is distracting them from the process of pulling all their "Air Stab" shoes out of UK stores because the god damn Brits can't stop knifing each other! The insatiable British appetite for stabbing their fellow citizens caused bad PR levels to rise so high that Nike had to start pulling the shoes last week-even though they've been selling them for 20 years.

Central Park: it's sacred space worth billions. But it will be public forever! It will never be sullied by the hand of commerce, or turned into a commercial venue! Except for the huge silver Chanel "Mobile Art pavilion," modeled after a Chanel handbag, that will descend on the park this fall. But it's really an art exhibit, you see, and Chanel is giving a huge donation to be able to put it there, so the commercial angle is totally superfluous. Except that all the freaking art is "inspired by Chanel's classic 2.55 quilted-style chain handbag." You clever bastards. Larger picture of the alien-looking new kind of ad in your life, below: