With hype for the April opening of Topshop's Soho store going into hysterical overdrive, those in charge of managing the PR must be thrilled to see that the Brit girls in New York are patriotically unequivocal in their enthusiasm for the brand. Especially since the descriptions of the clothes they share with the Observer's Meredith Bryant are so, uh, evocative, not to mention the fact that British accents—indicated by plentiful emphatic italicization—lend authority to more or less any random string of words!

• Barneys is trimming staff: The company cut 76 jobs today. [Crains]
• Topshop's signage is here! And a whole bunch of people will be on hand for the big opening on April 1, naturally. [Racked, NYP]
• Sign o' the times: The old New York sign in Midtown has been replaced by one for Burberry. [Racked]
• The Valentino doc did pretty well for itself its opening weekend. [FWD]
• Tiffany posted a sharp drop in fourth quarter profit. [NYT]
• Remember those fish pedicures that generated so much press a few months back? You may want to note the practice is now banned in 14 states. [WSJ]

If you bump into Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss—or you're a reporter and you happen to be interviewing her for some reason—she'd very much appreciate it if you didn't bring up the name of a certain comedian whom she was involved with more than a decade ago. At least that was the request passed along to a writer from Louisville's Courier-Journal, who had a few questions prepared for the socialite-designer when she touched down in Louisville last week for a trunk show at the (very posh-sounding) Blink Boutique. "No problem," the reporter replies; the subject "wasn't even on my radar screen." Of course, she mentions the snub in the first paragraph and refers to her as "Seinfeld's Ex" in the subhead of the article, so we'll take that as an indication Shoshanna's request was denied.

• Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone have been in Brazil since late last week, presiding over the opening of a new store and showing off their gold rings. Now they say they're thinking about adopting a baby girl, too. [Fashionologie]
• Speaking of Marc, the life-size hamster wheel in the window of his Bleecker Street kids store is back. [Racked]
• House of Style returned on Saturday. Just what you needed: a "recessionista rescue" by Jessica Stam. [Jezebel]
• A recession bonus: expensive models are no longer that expensive. [AdAge]
• Erin Wasson's garage sale in LA was a mob scene, as expected. [RackedLA]
• The Times chats with Dree Hemingway, model, actress, daughter of Mariel Hemingway, and new Twitter fan. [NYT]
• The "obscure private label watch brand" worn by Barack Obama is a little less obscure these days. Funny how that happens. [WWD]

De Beers thought that buying diamond jewelry would be a popular activity during this recession, but you know what? It isn't.

Instead of wearing brand new outfits and saying to their husbands, "This old thing? You've seen it a million times," some women are doing the opposite: Savvy wives in need of some financial independence are charging expensive clothes to their husbands and then secretly selling them so they can pocket the cash, a time-honored strategy that was supposedly even utilized by Jackie O when she was married to Aristotle. Joan Lacey, a personal shopper to Wall Street wives, says: "I have one client who specifically buys Hermès Kelly or Birkin bags and the best furs [on her husband's store credit card] and then immediately takes the items—complete with tags—to Encore, where she sells them under her niece's account. And she's not the only one." Isn't it heartwarming to see that marriage remains a sacred institution founded on trust and eternal commitment, even during these scary times?

• Today in silly celebrity brand extensions: Kim Kardashian has a "budget-friendly shoe club," Avril Lavigne's first scent debuts this summer, and Nicole Richie's new jewelry line sold out before it even arrived in stores. [SW, WWD, SW]
• Several racks of clothing have already materialized at Topshop! [Racked]
• Calvin Klein made a cameo on 30 Rock last night. [Fashionologie]
• Michelle Obama is the new Carrie Bradshaw, says Isaac Mizrahi. [MB]
• Have you ever wished that Joe Zee would finally document every food item he consumed over the course of the week? You're in luck. [NYM]
• Don't bother asking Michael Bloomberg about his fave footwear. Ask him about his shoes and he'll tell you they're "probably Paul Stuart," but he's "had them a long time," so he really has "no idea." [FN]

Proof that Tory Burch's eponymous clothing line has made its decent from Upper East Side chic to middle America bargain bin: It seems she's the designer of choice to Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman, who showed up to a taping of Dr. Phil recently dressed in a $228 TB top and a pair of $195 TB flats. Of course Burch did tell a reporter recently that she wanted to be a "go-to brand for affordable luxury" and a staple of "hugely successful" working moms everywhere. Looks like the mission is well on its way to being accomplished! [TMZ]

• At long last, Karl Lagerfeld has his very own Ken doll "complete with matching black suit, high white collar, white ponytail, silver leather gloves." The doll-like photo to your left? That's the genuine article. [Racked]
• Either Adele suddenly dropped a ton of weight before her Annie Leibovitz photo shoot or Vogue's art department has been working overtime. [Jezebel]
• French officials are considering a law that would require magazines to disclose the fact they've manipulated a photo. That sound you just heard was Pascal Dangin shudder with disgust. [BI]
• The fashion world has "slowed down and sobered up," but "the recession could turn out to make designers better designers," says Cathy Horyn. [NYT]

Well, well. Michelle Obama has some nice arms, and now all the ladies want some nice arms. Women of America: resist this arm fixation. Do you want to end up just as dumb as men?

"Slanties": stupid hipster joke, or racist hipster serious business idea? Either way, we never thought we'd see something that would make us long for the days of cash fans and shutter shades:

You'll be relieved to hear that Dasha Zhukova, whose surprise appointment as editor-in-chief of Pop magazine triggered a bitchy wave of consternation across certain sections of the fashion world—because, you know, presiding over the compilation of pretty pictures is on a par with brain surgery—is not letting the haters deter her. She says she's cutting back on her involvement with fashion line Kova & T in order to focus on her new job, as well as on her Moscow gallery. "Garage and Pop magazine are my priorities," she told a journalist interviewing her about an exhibition of art owned by French billionaire Francois Pinault, opening today at Garage.

Oh, wow, is it spring already? Must be, since the seasonal "Marc Jacobs is getting MARRIED!" rumors are now upon us, courtesy Women's Wear Daily.

• The premiere of the new Valentino documentary last night attracted the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, Claire Danes, Madonna, and Anne Hathaway, although the big topic of discussion was the designer's collection of pugs—Milton, Monty, Maude, Margot, Maggie, and Molly. [WWD, BB, SW]
• So, like, what's the deal with Valentino's tan? Don't ask Matt Tyrnauer, who followed the designer around for years to make the doc: "He does have that Mediterranean skin, but beyond that, I'm not sure." [NYM]
• Project Runway finalist Kenley Collins was arrested today for assaulting her fiance with their cat. We're not sure what means either. [NYP]
• CNN's profile of French Vogue's Carine Roitfeld is now online. [Fashionologie]

It's been rumored for ages, but now it appears to be official: Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone are engaged. Women's Wear Daily reports the duo will go public with the news tomorrow when they arrive in Brazil "wearing rings." Then they'll head to Martone's hometown of Sao Paolo for a "fete celebrating the Marc Jacobs multibrand store." (You didn't expect the big news to get in the way of business, did you?) Jacobs and Martone haven't set a date for the wedding yet. But count on it being the chicest gay wedding of all time and starting about two hours late. [WWD]

No one would ever underestimate the myriad stresses and strains of working in fashion: Not only are you carrying the awesome responsibility of making pretty clothes, you also have no choice but to be impeccably groomed at all times. But those glossy women who labor so indefatigably on all of our behalfs have a further cross to bear, one they've been stoically silent about—until now! As W reports, the likes of Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, and Charlotte Ronson all deal with the absolute minefield of what to wear on the weekends, when they may need to take a well-earned rest from getting decked out in high-end labels, but must do so without disgracing themselves and their noble yet viciously judgmental industry.

• It's been a busy few days for Valentino. He's taped appearances for Oprah and Martha Stewart; Valentino: The Last Emperor, the new documentary about him, debuts in NYC tomorrow; and it's rumored that despite his very public retirement in early 2008, he remains in charge of his eponymous fashion house. [Fashionologie, WWD, P6]
• What will you find if you visit Valentino's apartment overlooking Central Park? Lots of zebra armchairs and porcelain statues. And air that's "thick with spicy, masculine cologne." Exactly what you pictured, basically. [NYM]

Just because there was bad news today doesn't mean you can't remind people that there's a little good news to report, too, right? The full release below.

• The 2009 CFDA Award nominees were announced this evening. [WWD]
• Following months of speculation, it's official: Olivier Theyskens (left) has parted ways with the house of Nina Ricci. [WWD]
• Depressed? "In times of trouble, pink is the shopper's comfort color." [NYT]
• Katie Holmes is starting up a kids clothing line, it seems. [Racked]
• Is Marc Jacobs getting married later this year? Possibly! [FWD]
• The times they are a-changin': Beyoncé appears on the new cover of Vogue, which means the mag has featured black women two issues in a row. [NYM]
• Karen Elson stars in Agent Provocateur's new spring campaign. [Pipeline]
• LiLo's spray-on tanner actually works, you may be surprised to hear. [NYDN]
• A look inside the new Armani flagship on Fifth Ave. [Racked]
• Claudia Schiffer has such a huge clothing collection, she converted a climate-controlled helicopter hanger into a giant closet. Naturally. [Daily Mail]

If you're the kind of person whose sartorial style exudes even a molecule of panache or individuality, you might want to consider giving yourself a serious makeover before a job interview, assuming you can land one these days. Experts (well, image consultants desperately trying to adapt their superfluous services to the new economy) are warning that "casual or quirky" clothes might imply that, God forbid, you're a free-thinking risk-taker—which in this job market ranks somewhere below Satanist child-molester on the appealing employee scale.