Rip Torn was heroically arrested for breaking into a bank drunk and armed over the weekend. Sadly, he wasn't launching a populist anti-banking revolution; he was so drunk, "he thought he had been dozing in his home." [NYP]

Celebrating Yankee hero Derek Jeter's record-breaking hit last Friday in the family suite: His parents, sister, girlfriend, and...Fox & Friends blondebot Gretchen Carlson. She's married to Jeter's agent. God. Lou Gehrig is crying, from heaven. [Click to enlarge. Thanks, W!]