As August winds down, many of us will be pressured—by our closest friends, whom we have known since childhood, by beautiful crushes, whose tanned skin glows dusky bronze in the moonlight, by drunk assholes whom we don't know that well—to kiss summer goodbye with a skinny dipping romp.
This past weekend, Mitt Romney named Republican congressman Paul Ryan as his running mate, leading everyone to wonder: how will this asshole screw me, personally, if he is elected vice-president in November? Luckily for you, we have answers.
Last night, TLC premiered its first Toddlers & Tiaras spin-off, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. It is a show that reinforces what its source has been trying to tell us all along: the families of those who enter their children into beauty pageants are way more fascinating than the pageants themselves. The show's resulting viral noise has been astounding. You know a piece of pop culture is onto something when many agree that is that it's signaling the fall of civilization. Not since Jersey Shore's debut have the pearls been clutched so ardently, the eyes fixed so steadily.
After enduring five months of delays and attracting worldwide attention, the Pussy Riot trial finally began in Moscow this week. But what is Pussy Riot? Why is it on trial? What is Moscow? All your questions will be answered here.
Do you like New York City? Or, really, anywhere between Ohio and Connecticut? Because, haha, it might not exist tomorrow. There's a "potential for a widespread damaging wind event/derecho" tonight — and risk of tornadoes around New York City. But what even is a "derecho"? And how can you protect yourself from it?
The last week must have thrilled anybody playing Romney VP bingo. Rumors suggested Romney would pick Condoleezza Rice. Rice has never run for—nor expressed interest in—elected office, probably couldn't siphon "the black vote" away from Carlton on Fresh Prince, and her candidacy's soundtrack would be Block Rockin' Briefs '01: Bin Laden Determined to Attack U.S. This week the VP rumor was about Tim Pawlenty, who is boring.
It's barbecue season, and you need to sound smart while drinking beer around your charred meat. But how will you discuss the most important scientific news of the year — and maybe of the decade — if you don't know anything about it? It's okay. We're here to explain what "the God Particle" is, and whether or not the Europeans found it.
Malia Obama turns 14 this Wednesday, and Barack Obama has declared a United States federal holiday to celebrate the occasion.
Remember the protest over the anti-piracy bill SOPA, which left Wikipedia black for a day and depressed the GPA of a large portion of the world's high school students? This week brings another internet freakout over a similarly geeky bill: The Cybersecurity Information Sharing Act (CISPA). Non-geeks, here is what you need to know.
Kids these days don't know about money. The problem, as laid out in this USA Today story, is devastatingly simple: today's high school students can't pass simple tests of financial literacy, even though they will most likely be heavily in debt and facing poor job prospects within a decade. Furthermore, most states don't teach kids anything about the topic.
ALEC is dead. Long live ALEC. Yesterday, the American Legislative Exchange Council — a national clearinghouse of pre-written right-wing bills, helpfully provided to conservative state legislators too dumb to come up with their own ideas — announced that it was abandoning the task force that pushed voter-surpression bills and "Stand Your Ground" laws like the one that led Sanford Police to free George Zimmerman the night he killed Trayvon Martin. "We are eliminating the ALEC Public Safety and Elections task force that dealt with non-economic issues," the group's statement said, "and reinvesting these resources in the task forces that focus on the economy."
Hunger Games mania is upon us. The Young Adult trilogy-turned-blockbuster is due out this weekend, and some of you out there still have no idea what these crazy Food Games are all about. Fear not, as we have compiled a detailed Hunger Games explainer, just in time for G-day. Be you screaming tween, good-sporting parent, or disgruntled old timer, this explainer will guide you as we as a nation prepare for the newest (and unavoidable) pop-culture phenom.
Arena: A vast outdoor arena rigged with Panem's high-tech TV cameras as well as traps and challenges to test the tributes fighting each other to the death in the Hunger Games. An arena may contain anything from "a burning desert to a frozen wasteland." After the Hunger Games, the arenas become popular tourist destinations for Capitol citizens.
If you have been on the internet in the last 48 hours (you have), you've probably heard something about "Kony 2012," a new campaign aimed at raising awareness of Ugandan guerilla leader and war criminal Joseph Kony. And if you're anything like me, you've probably avoided thinking about it too much. But the time has come to form an opinion. And we're here to help. Below, all the opinions it's possible to have about Joseph Kony and Invisible Children's campaign to stop him.
Why did Jay-Z and Beyoncé name their kid "Blue Ivy"? What was the deal with Madonna's Super Bowl halftime show? Why did Whitney Houston die? Some people might say that "famous people are weird and sad" is the answer to all three questions. But no, the answer is: The Illuminati. Who? Allow us to explain.
