Jimmy Wales can't get enough of Rachel Marsden, the girlfriend he met on Wikipedia. Here's a shot of her pouting for the camera. Three more after the jump.

In which Wikipedia's chief non-expert Jimmy Wales worries that Larry Page and Sergey Brin will be able to read their instant messages, talks dirty about broadband infrastructure, and says his "Google killer" startup Wikia needs to make him enough money so he can buy a jet where he and Canadian girlfriend Rachel Marsden can have even more sex. Friends claim that Wales, worried Marsden would leak the chats, threatened her with blackmail charges over the transcripts, and talked about jail time and deportation back to Canada for her. That got her so upset she sent copies to one or more friends. They've landed in our inbox. Good job, Jimbo. The best bits:

Type "dildo" into Wikipedia's search bar and what do you get? If you happen to be on a U.S. Air Force computer, a warning that the link you were about to view has been blocked. No big deal, right? At stateside bases, the Air Force justifies blocking Web pages as a productivity move. Similarly, crossword puzzles, Flash videogame sites, YouTube, and even eBay are now off-limits. Understandably. But blogs — some of the Web's most diverse sources for news and commentary, which we might translate into actionable intelligence? With each passing week, fewer and fewer remain available.

The FCC is considering holding a fresh hearing on net neutrality, with Comcast and Verizon again in attendance — and this time it may be at Stanford. The do-over comes after a mini-scandal erupted over the first hearing, held at Harvard; Comcast flacks confessed they'd paid people off the street to act as seatwarmers. Let this be a lesson to you all: If you're going to meddle in politics, do it skillfully enough not to get caught.

According to well-placed sources, the entire internet in all of downtown Chicago has been out of service for two days now and no one has noticed.

Gawker's Richard Blakeley caught this exclusive clip of Barack Obama appearing on Good Morning America to refute charges from the Clinton campaign that sometimes he dresses in funny Muslim clothes.

Tumblr founder David Karp plans to make money off his microblogging platform — the one used by Julia Allison as well as dirtier, more creative types mostly found in San Francisco's Mission District and Brooklyn's Williamsburg — by creating a front page kind of like Digg's. Except on Tumblr Radar, a video, post or image's popularity will be determined by how many times its "reblogged." The idea is to help users discover other Tumblr blogs while serving them brand ads. Karp was overheard talking to former DoubleClick founder Kevin Ryan about the prospect last week. Karp has told us this front page will end up looking like a cross between Apple's iTunes store and Ffffound.com. Thanks to a rule-breaking beta tester, we won't have to wait to find out if that's true. Here's a leaked screenshot of Tumblr Radar:

Acquiring Digg costs $300 million, we hear. Learning how to game the social new site, however, only costs the time to write an offer. At last night's Founders Club party in New York — well-attended by executives from CBS, NBC, Disney, and IAC — one media suit inadvertently confessed as much. "Digg traffic is crucial for us," this exec said. So his team called Digg to ask how it all works. What can they do to get more items on the front page? "And they just started giving us all this really detailed information we never expected," this exec was overhead saying. Like how to avoid triggering the algorithm's ire by not having everyone in the company Digg a story until after a certain amount of Diggs, he said. "Only later we realized — oh yeah — it's cause we're talking about buying them."

All the parts of the internet that care about such matters have been speculating as to what Saturday Night Live will do about Barack Obama. They don't really have anyone qualified to impersonate him right now, especially as blackface is more or less out of style. A couple sites have reported rumors that sketch comedian and comedy writer (and thin black man) Donald Glover will join the cast, possibly even this weekend, in order to ensure that the Democratic hopeful will be properly parodied. Comedy Central's Insider blog has the story and the Chicago Sun-Times thinks it's a done deal. But! We went to school with Donald! He, like us, was in NYU's Dramatic Writing program. So we checked Facebook and learned, direct from Donald, that all of this speculation is unfounded. Donald auditioned, but hasn't been asked to join the cast. His wall message (of hope) is attached, click to enlarge.

The deal isn't official yet, but CollegeHumor and MTV plan to launch a TV show together. In the finished pilot, the Tumblr-popular Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld host, rolling clips between skits like the one in the clip below. Sam Reich plays College Humor cofounder Ricky Van Veen. Word has it CollegeHumor insisted on getting online distribution rights and that MTV readily complied.

Click to viewThe pace of of product launches from Yahoo is breathless — and with a whiff of desperation. On February 26, Yahoo plans to beta launch Yahoo Buzz as a competitor to Digg, and a tipster supplied Valleywag with screenshots. Buzz, built under the direction of VP Tapan Bhat, will begin with a limited number of publishers — about 100 — and will rank stories based on popular search results and user voting. By summer, Buzz will open to the entire Yahoo Publisher Network. In other words, if you let Yahoo sell ads on your site, it will allow your stories to appear on Buzz. Word is Yahoo plans to launch the site on buzz.yahoo.com, which currently tracks popular search results. Pics or it didn't happen? See the screenshots, below.

The public story is that Microsoft chairman Bill Gates has quit Facebook "after getting more than 8,000 friend requests a day, and [spotting] weird fan sites about him." We don't doubt it, but a tipster tells us that BillG has a secret profile only visible from within Facebook's Microsoft network. Surely some Microsoftie Valleywag readers are friends with him. Do tell: Are there frenzied poking wars in Redmond's C-suite? Message us.

Helio CFO Todd Tappin and execs Michael Zemetra, Terry Boyle and Kieran Hannon will leave the company by March 31. A source tells us former CEO and current chairman Sky Dayton won't remain long, either. The cell-phone carrier started as a joint venture in 2006 between EarthLink, the Internet service provider founded by Dayton, and South Korean phone company SK Telecom. Since then, it has disappointed, and EarthLink ran short on cash to invest. When SK Telecom reupped with another $270 million last fall, reducing EarthLink's share to 22 percent, this kind of shakeout was expected. In fact, our source tells us most if not all executives from the "EarthLink side of the house" will depart the company on or before March 31.

The elaborate Kabuki routine being acted out in Microsoft and Yahoo's boardrooms serves one purpose: To cloud the notion that the takeover is about money. It is, of course. Watercooler talk at Yahoo's Sunnyvale HQ is that management is pushing for $36 a share — conveniently more than halfway between Microsoft's initial $31 bid and Yahoo's $40 counter. But Jerry Yang seems opposed to a sale at any price. And he has a secret plan to reboot Yahoo.

Sources tell Valleywag that lifecasting startup Ustream.tv is in advanced discussions with Microsoft to acquire the lifecasting service for more than $50 million, but there are other companies in the bidding as well. Ustream is currently raising a very large initial round of VC financing, and Microsoft is attempting to grab them prefunding for a cheap price. Our tipster also mentions that Microsoft would use Ustream as a way to promote its Adobe Flash competitor, Silverlight. Ustream has raised around $2 million from angel investors, and seems to have hit the market at just the right time.

The last time I got loaded with Natali Del Conte, it was at Moose's in San Francisco, and alcohol was involved. So I had to ask: For her new online-video show for CNET, Loaded, will the videoblogger drink on camera, as Kevin Rose does on Diggnation? "I'm not ruling it out," says Del Conte. Good! Because her debut episode, while slickly produced, had way too many screenshots. I watch Web pages get loaded all day long as it is.

Samir Arora, the Valley's most talented flim-flam artist, has convinced investors to put in a fresh round of financing into Glam Media, his online-ad network. The deal could be announced as soon as tomorrow. The amount raised: Between $30 million and $100 million, we hear, valuing the company at as much as $400 million. A lofty figure, given Glam's scant sales — but Arora had sought a $200 million round, and a valuation in the range of $800 million to $1 billion. The premise of that valuation: The 25 million monthly visitors to sites in Glam's network, many of them female. But investors likely figured out that Glam doesn't own most of the sites those people visited.

As has been documented again and again and again, there is a mouse problem as the fancy new headquarters of the New York Times. So, when Gawker videographer Alex Goldberg found himself at an event attended by some of the architects responsible for that new Times building, he knew his muckracking mission: corner one of them and demand answers.

More than ever, that's the answer. Time Inc's People Magazine has secured the first pictures of Nicole Richie's baby, Harlow. The winning bid: $1m, according to someone who participated in the auction. Which is a useful sum for the anorexic former reality star, daughter of singer Lionel Richie. "This is probably Nicole Richie's only paycheck for all of 2008," says the source. Richie's take is impressive, but not as rich a price as that being offered for first photographic evidence of the baby boy born to Christina Aguilera, the singer, earlier this month. We hear that bidding between People and OK! Magazine, which bid $1m earlier this month, has now reached $1.5m. So what economic rationale can there be for such inflation in the cost of baby pictures?

Yahoo is launching a new video service called Yahoo Live. Initially available for Yahoo employees only, the service allows users to create their own "social broadcasting experience." Translation: Yahoo is the first major company to get into the lifecasting space currently occupied by startups like Ustream.tv and Justin.tv. Last week, we reported that Yahoo was looking to launch some splashy products to distract from its financial problems and layoff rumors. Yahoo Live seems to fit the bill. Catch the notice posted on Yahoo's intranet, Backyard, after the jump.