London is telling subway riders not to walk up the escalator because they say it moves more total people per hour that way—despite conclusive proof that people who stand on escalators don’t care about being late and should get the fuck out of our way because some of us have places to be. Sad.

It has come to our attention that some trolls and anarchists have been spreading false information about urban transportation efficiency—right when people need the truth the most. We are here to assure you that is always right to walk down an escalator.

Six days after a Chinese woman was swallowed alive by an escalator, a man in Shanghai lost his leg after falling through the top of an escalator at a mall.

A Chinese woman reportedly died in one of the most horrific ways imaginable on Sunday after she fell through the platform at the top of a mall escalator. The woman managed to toss her two-year-old son to safety just seconds before being swallowed whole inside the contraption.

A Montreal woman died today after her scarf got tangled up in an escalator at a Metro station.

A seemingly odd question was posed to the Casper (Wyoming) Star Tribune back in 2008 concerning the number of escalators in the city.

Let's just say for argument's sake that you enter a New York City subway station and step onto an escalator that's headed down towards the train tracks. At that moment, you must choose one of two clear courses of action: walk down the escalator, or stand still. Put more precisely, you can either walk down the escalator, or you deserve to be pushed down the escalator.

This just released security camera footage shows an escalator in a Washington Metro station going from a convenient speed to an extremely dangerous one in seconds.

You can use an escalator to get around quicker than using the stairs, but did you also know you could use them to go down too?

[Anthony Le, dressed as War Machine, rides an escalator outside E3, the video game industry's biggest trade show. He didn't have a pass, but drove 20 hours to be there "in the spirit of video games." Pic via AP.]

Jason Lee said it best in Mallrats when he said "Damn! That kid is back on the escalator again." Enjoy this original compilation of classic escalator fails, but try not to chortle too much: using escalators isn't for everyone.