Collect call for Nick Lachey from a Miss Jessica Weaddababi-Eitzaboi.

Jessica Simpson might be pregnant, unless it's just an unflattering shirt. Demi and Ashton might be breaking up. Lindsay Lohan gets reinvented as "Lyndsy." Nicole Richie's boobs look big. Wednesday gossip is hysterical about pregnancy.

Christina Aguilera says she fell prey to a nefarious computer hacker. Blake Lively and Ryan Gosling seem to be dating. Michael Lohan makes a video of himself getting Botox, because, why not? Thursday gossip has a complicated relationship with fame.

And why are birthdays such polarizing affairs? Did Jessica Simpson buy her own engagement ring? Did Britney's insanity make her parents fall back in love? Tuesday gossip is a toddler who keeps asking, "Why?"

Jessica Simpson's dad blows off our troops. Lindsay Lohan gets visited by the 'rents. Chelsea Handler and Nick Cannon engage in the worst twitter fight ever. Jesse James has is own personal HIV panic. Sunday Gossip Roundup is getting warm.

[Jessica Simpson goes through airport security at Los Angeles International Airport. Another image of her with boyfriend Eric Johnson inside. Images via Bauer-Griffin, click to enlarge.]

After thirteen days of incarceration, Lindsay Lohan has been released. Justin Bieber is writing an "illustrated memoir." T.I. tied the knot, and so did James Van Der Beek. Monday gossip is free at last.