Michele Bachmann—former presidential candidate, soon-to-be-ex-congresswoman, corn-dog enthusiast—wants to make sure you know what's at stake in the gay-rights debate: tyranny, deviancy, and most of all, lots of child rape.

They call you a "stupid bitch" and "motherfucking whore" and "thugs with jugs." They stoop down to your wheelchair to spit in your face. They stalk you and ambush you in the dark outside your home. If you're a woman and you think guns should maybe be regulated a bit more, this is what you get.

Columbia University has come under serious scrutiny for its handling of campus sexual-assault allegations lately. Legal complaints have been filed. Tell-alls have been written. And now, unsatisfied students are taking to the school's walls, sharing the names of alleged assaulters.

Amid political pressure over its decisions to put on a "lesbian" play and offer incoming freshmen pro-LGBT readings, an embattled college in the South Carolina public university system has suddenly announced it's closing its gender-studies center.

This is Emily Letts, a patient advocate at a reproductive clinic in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just outside Philadelphia. Letts got pregnant and was, in her words, "not ready" to have children. So she got an abortion, and filmed it, and is now a hot target for online critics.

Great Britain has just certified the first three women ever to serve onboard submarines in the 110-year history of the Royal Navy's silent service. Way to go, John Bull. What the hell took you so long?

President Obama signed executive orders today—"Equal Pay Day"—leaning on federal contractors to pay women what they pay men. He also exhorted the Senate to pass the Paycheck Fairness Act, bringing us closer to an America where female billionaires can have outsize political influence, too.

Oh, Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa). With Michele Bachmann retiring, we're going to have to count on you for incoherent defenses of antiquarian antipathies. Like, how would you explain your disappointment in Arizona for not passing that "Gays Not Served Here" law?

Mary Barra has shattered the glass ceiling at General Motors and discovered there's a Cristal ceiling above that one. But it could be worse. She could have to assemble cars for a living!

This is the arch of swords, the longstanding funnysweet ritual that closes military weddings. This one, held at Fort Bragg, is a little different, though—in a lovely, historic way.

New Mexico's Supreme Court unanimously declared it unconstitutional to deny marriage licenses to gay or lesbian couples Thursday afternoon, making the state No. 17 in the union (plus the District of Columbia) to legalize gay unions.

"The American Dream" was a popular fairy tale of the latter half of the 20th century, featuring a plucky-but-average citizen triumphing over the circumstances of his birth in a golden-hued land of opportunity. Modern Americans seem almost embarrassed their forefathers ever embraced such a myth.

Stephen Marche is a terrible writer and a terrible sexist. He wrote a terrible Sunday Times essay about how men will never do more housework, so chicks should chill out and accept filth. A better move for Stephen Marche would have been to shut the fuck up and pick up after himself.

[Vernita Gray, left, and Patricia Ewert hold their Illinois marriage license after they were married in Chicago on Wednesday. While the state's gay marriage law takes effect in June 2014, the couple was granted an expedited marriage license because Gray is terminally ill. Photo by Charles Rex Arbogast via AP]

[Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn signs the state's Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act into law during ceremonies on Wednesday in Chicago. The bill, which won't take effect until June 1, makes Illinois the 16th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Photo by Charles Rex Arbogast via AP]

After a group of bros tried to raise money for breast cancer research by going around and motorboating random women, many wondered when the world might see a reverse campaign featuring women cupping men's testicles to raise money for prostate cancer research.

When listening to adults go on and on about how marriage is between one man and one woman gets you down, it's important to take a step back and listen to some kids prove definitively that we aren't born this way. Ignorant, that is.

Baylor is a Christian University, in Texas, with a student handbook banning "homosexual acts." That's three strikes against gay people already. But times are changing. Baylor may soon take a major step towards gay rights, by Baylor standards.

Governor Chris Christie's decision to allow same-sex marriages to proceed in New Jersey wasn't the only come from behind victory for gays this week.

Just after midnight on Monday, dozens of of gay couples across New Jersey were married, including seven who were wed at Newark's city hall by Mayor and Senator-elect Cory Booker.