Oh heck, a new survey says that going to the movies is a "frequent source of entertainment" for only 3% of your fellow Americans. Three dang percent. What the hey are you doing with your time now, Americans? Masturbating? Where, and in what ways? Do you have pictures? That's not the point. The point is that the movies must be saved. But how?
When Comcast acquired NBC Universal, part of its deal with the FCC was that it would "launch 10 new independently owned cable channels, with most backed by African Americans and Latinos, by 2018." Well. The first two Black People Channels have been announced. Black people, prepare for a fiesta of cable mediocrity!
In a study released last month, researchers claimed people actually enjoy a story more if they've been given spoilers beforehand. While many are bound to disagree with those findings, Stephen Colbert took to tonight's Report to prove them right. He even extended the theory to everyday life: "Get ready for the granddaddy of all spoilers: You die!" As you'll see in this video, he was just getting started.
Sad news for people who fondly recall childhood nights spent attempting to watch "scrambled" pornography on high-numbered cable channels, a pastime which has afflicted them with a lifelong wavy-bar fetish: the television porn industry is slowly dying. Which is completely predictable and represents nothing more than the logical progress of technology, but still. We thought you'd like to know, what with your... certain predilections.
The villainous Recording Industry Association of America, which loves to sue children for millions of dollars for downloading songs that deprived wealthy entertainers of a penny: what is their latest outrage? Pissing on the U.S. Constitution, naturally.
Veteran actor Robert De Niro received the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement at tonight's Golden Globes. It was quite. His awkward, rambling, try-hard acceptance speech—during which he made several off-color jokes, like a drunk uncle—was not.
Holy wow. Ricky Gervais, the host of tonight's Golden Globes, just opened the show with one of the most unrelentingly harsh and uncomfortable monologues in awards show history—there was even a Tom Cruise/John Travolta gay joke! Watch inside.
Last night, Queen Latifah hosted the 37th Annual People's Choice Awards. The first presenter of the night was Jennifer Aniston. Immediately after Aniston took the stage, something seemed... off. Was she tired? Did Angelina Jolie spike her drink? Watch inside.
In the music video for Enrique Iglesias' new single, "Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You)," he woos sexual conquests with, "Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but tonight I'm fuckin' you." And he does. Lots! The NSFW video, inside.
