The world is ending! Thirty-three schools in Michigan are closing "in part because the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end on Friday." The New York Post is trying to help a model have sex. And yet for some reason, you're at work, instead of your bunker/place of worship/celestial energy node. But that's because you knew that Gawker would help explain to you why the world isn't ending tomorrow, and why everyone else thinks it is.

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard took to YouTube last night to make a startling announcement: The made-up Mayan prophecies were right all along, and the world will be ending on December 21st as predicted.

In-the-know Americans have been getting ready for May 21, when Jesus is going to return to Earth and kick off the Rapture—aka "Judgment Day." Hopefully you're prepared for all the excitement to come, yes?

You might have heard, but I'm an L.A. virgin, cast aside from the shores of New York Shitty to the Best Coast, where I have reborn as a wide-eyed, optimistic, positive vibes, yoga-practicing girl. (However, please slap me if I ask for your astrological sign.) Still, when an old friend recommended Mustache Mondays, thus: "It's the most New York party in L.A.," I was compelled to investigate the truthiness of this statement.