· The TV Academy continues cracking down on "the rampant proliferation of the producer credit" by capping comedy series Emmy nominations at 11 and drama nods at 10 for a second straight year. How bad had things gotten? "Business affairs execs and studios were giving people producing credits just because they could," says one nameless Academy official. This outrage ends now. [Variety]
· The Toronto Film Festival officially surrenders to Hollywood. [THR]
· We hate to do this after just one episode, but when the trades are throwing around words like "dismal" to describe a new show's ratings, the CancellationWatch must begin: Fox's Anchorwoman draws only 2.7 million viewers and a 1.0 rating in the 18-49 demographic, less than half of the numbers pulled by competition on NBC and CBS. [Variety]
· Buy your tickets now: Rosie O'Donnell will be opening the New York Comedy Festival. You won't want to miss what she's got planned for that giant photo Elizabeth Hasselbeck this time! [THR]
· In a much-clamored-for reunion of Shrek the Third castmates, Justin Timberlake is joining the cast of Mike-Myers-doing-a-funny-accent-comedy Love Guru. [Variety]

Homosexual man actually capable of portraying straight man in television show; is recognized by trade awards group for acting ability, gayness. [LAT]

· X-Men fans, take heart: Tsotsi's Gavin Hood, not X-Men 3: The Last Gasp of a Once Vital Franchise's Brett Ratner, has signed on to direct Wolverine. [Variety]
· It's official: NBC's Ben Silverman is the new Norman Lear. In producing two of the Emmy nominees for best comedy (The Office and Ugly Betty), Silverman has equalled a feat last acheived by his idol, who in 1973 earned sitcom nods for All in the Family and Maude. [THR]
· In other Emmy oddities, Fox's instantaneously premiered/canceled Drive makes history as the first-ever Primetime Emmy broadband nominee for a three-minute clip that streamed on Fox.com. [Variety]
· Upon learning of her Emmy nomination for her work on Brothers & Sisters, Sally Field was overwhelmed by a Meg-Ryan-in- When-Harry-Met-Sally-quality orgasm, a spasm of ecstasy so paralyzing she was unable to do her usual, "You like me, you really really like me!" schtick. [THR, THR]
· When John Travolta in drag and fake gay-married firefighters clash at the box office, no comedy fans will escape unscathed. [Variety]

· While underappreciated Aaron Sorkin masterwork Studio 60 was not, as we falsely represented earlier, a nominee for the Best Drama Emmy, the show did pull in a respectable five nods, including one for Eli Wallach in the role of Blacklisted, Alzheimer's Afflicted Writer Who Tries to Steal a Photograph That Has Meaning to Him. [Variety]
· Hollywood NepotismWatch: Shari Redstone, daughter of semi-mummified Viacom overlord Sumner Redstone, may leave the board of the company over a "falling out," though her spokesperson denies she's going anywhere, "even if she has to wait another 300 years for the old man to collapse into a pile of dust in his desk chair" to finally get control of his empire. [THR]
· Ray Liotta now old enough to play Jessica Biel's father. Oh, how the years fly by! [Variety]
· A two-hours So You Think You Can Dance handily defeats ABC's talent-show block of Do People Really Do Celebrity Impressions Anymore? and Insane Asylum Show and Tell: The Search For America's Next Top Inventor. [THR]
· Emmy voters virtually ignore network abomination The CW, which earned a single nom for sound editing in Smallville. [Variety]

The Emmy announcements are no exception to the time-worn awards show tradition of news outlets eliciting statements from the newly shortlisted artists—asking them, still dizzy from their gold-star high, to try as best as they can to put into words what it feels like to be recognized as more talented than their peers. (Until the night of the ceremony, that is, when four of the five are again reminded of their mediocrity.) We present a round-up of some of the most memorable, "it's just an honor to be mentioned in the same breath as Two and a Half Men" reactions:
· "This is an outrage." - Tina Fey [Variety]
· Nomination presenter Kyra Sedgwick deconstructs the existential dilemma of having to read one's own name off the TelePrompter: "It was pretty nauseating. I couldn't believe they wouldn't tell us before!I just thought, if I won't be nominated, I'll take a deep breath and be grateful I'm there to announce. It was a surprise." [USA Today]

We have, on more than one occasion, referred to the Emmys as "Oscar's paste-eating cousin," but even Hollywood's touched-in-the-head awards-proferring youngster gets his turn in the spotlight once in a while, and early this morning a legion of entertainment reporters were invited over to look at the names of the nominees he has sloppily finger-painted on some handy poster board, tousling the well-meaning tyke's hair as he noisily smacked away on a fresh mouthful of his beloved, adhesive snack. Their best guess at transcribing his illegible—but brightly rendered—scribblings reveals that mad-for-HBO movie Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee was the most nominated of any program, garnering a staggering™ 17 nods, while the network's The Sopranos, the retiring series that tried to lessen the blow of depriving us of the Greatest Television Show Of All Time by reintroducing us to the genius of Journey, earned 15 nominations, including recognition in various acting categories for Tony, Carmela, Christopher, Janice, and Dr. Melfi. (Sadly, it seems that an inspired late push for The Kid Who Pooped in the Shower fell short.)

So blinded were we by the ostentation of Paramount's eye-catching, two-page, "We made so much money last week that Brad Grey is buying everyone solid-gold robots" spread for Transformers that we completely missed this far more subtle ad lurking in pages of Variety this morning.

After unburying himself from the avalanche of unwanted Emmy For Your Consideration screeners that had immobilized him for four days, a Defamer reader, still weak and dehydrated from his ordeal, considerately photographed the pile which had nearly killed him and delivered the images to our inbox with the message, "Did someone really think I was going to watch all this shit?" Indeed, it's hard to believe that the people who sent along DVDs for Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy or Brotherhood actually intended that recipients watch them; instead, they were probably considerately included in mass-mailings to prime voters' disc shredders (like the one pictured after the jump) for the intense usage of Emmy nomination season.

We're still a good six weeks out from pretending to care about the Emmys, but LAT Gold Derby blogger Tom O'Neil spent some time this weekend kidnapping TV Academy voters as they left a Beverly Hills Hilton screening of awards candidates, then waterboarding them in the back of a van until they begged their cruel interrogator to exclusively take down the names of the ten contenders that will soon be narrowed down to a mere five nominees. (You've never seen a man truly suffer until he's spent ten minutes trying to cough the words "Grey's Anatomy" through excruciatingly waterlogged lungs.) While we'd never dare dissipate the delicious tension of the Emmy nominations parties you've planned for July 19th by reprinting the lists here, we will note a handful of key snubbees from the drama category: The Shield, Brothers & Sisters, Rescue Me, and [sci-fi fans please look away, for it's just too horrible to contemplate] Battlestar Galactica. The full lists, for TV fans with poor impulse control, can be found here.

Watching the telecast live from home, Rosie answered fan questions in real time on her blog, where she confirmed a backstage comment from best game show host winner (suck on that, Trebek) Bob Barker, who said O'Donnell—his first choice!—would be meeting with The Price is Right producers to discuss the possibility of fulfilling her long-held dream of becoming his Plinko-administrating successor. For O'Donnell, the development is a major coup, and proves kiss-assy full page ads in Variety really do work, but that will do little to console Price purists, who are dreading their visions of contestants' row bidders reaching into her pantsuit pocket to pull out Koosh Balls instead of $100 bills, and Showcase Showdown grand prizes consisting of lesbian family cruises to Antigua.

Airing tonight on CBS—your home for awards shows no one cares about!-Daytime Emmys producers were willing to try bold and unorthodox gimmicks to increase viewership, such as literally installing 200 hysterical soap fans on the stage alongside the presenters and winners. It's a prospect that doesn't sit well with some nominees:

Readers of the hard-copy of today's Variety were greeted by a promotional cover needily advocating the Emmy-worthiness of the entire Grey's Anatomy ensemble, including recovering castectomy patient Isaiah Washington, whose vaguely menacing photo is separated from that of nemesis T.R. Knight by a five-actor buffer.

If NBC or Warner Bros. recently ponied up for a For Your Consideration ad for Matthew Perry's fine Studio 60 work (if nothing else, he showed consummate professionalism in not walking out when Aaron Sorkin forced that "hallucinating a drug-addled staff writer alter ego" storyline on him), we completely missed it, but we were heartened to see that TNT wasn't too cheap to pimp its drama The Ron Clark Story in today's trades. Unfortunately for Perry, TNT didn't quit while it was ahead on the "captivating performance" pullquote, instead diminishing his chances by including blurbs damning him with faint "solid!" and "likeable, kind of!" praise. And, of course, things always could be worse, had the network dug up a review describing their original movie with the words, "By its third act, no longer a 'made-for-basic-cable drama about Matthew Perry playing a teacher,' this story evolves into one about Matthew Perry playing a person."

If you need an example of how desperate networks become during awards season, look no further than today's For Your Consideration ad for The L Word (click above for the full version), in which Showtime demonstrates it craves Emmy legitimacy so badly that it's conspicuously de-emphasizing the show's lesbian spirit in a transparent, misguided attempt to increase its appeal to voters. Even worse than the cynicism behind this strike at the program's Sapphic core is that the ploy could easily backfire, driving away viewers who fear that Showtime has suddenly removed all the hot-girl-on-even-hotter-girl action that made the show popular in the first place.

A Defamer operative who shall remain nameless so that he won't suffer the public humiliation of admitting that he was perusing the official ABC website for Desperate Housewives (which, much to our bafflement, continues to exist on the schedule despite its removal from our DVR season pass list three episodes into the second season—doesn't hitting the delete button send an immediate cancellation notice to Steve McPherson?) pointed us to this curiously blank "About" page, which seems to indicate that someone expects multiple Emmys are coming in mid-September. We suppose it's possible that the space is intended to recognize the show's former winners, but we prefer to think that its producers are boldly servicing notice to the hyberverbal bitches of Grey's Anatomy, who've been hogging the network spotlight for far too long.

· Cannes update: Films receiving early praise at Cannes include the Coen brothers' No Country For Old Men, the abortion drama 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, and Zodiac, which feels like it was released in America three years ago. You may now return to not caring about what's going on in France (unless it involves Jerry Seinfeld in a bee suit. That was so awesome!) [Variety]
· Because we know that you can't sleep if you don't know what Julia Roberts is up to: She's set to star in a movie based on the the life of African wildlife conservationist Joan Root. Or have more babies and take another five years off from the demands of being Hollywood's Biggest Female Star, depending on her mood. [THR]
· The Emmys are "one step closer" to moving from the Shrine to the shiny new Nokia Theater being built downtown, a change of venue that the TV Academy promises won't have any impact on the show's reliably low entertainment value. [Variety]
· The season finales of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters overcome token competition from the other networks, giving ABC an underwhelming Sunday night ratings victory. [THR]
· Var provides possibly unreliable evidence that Goldie Hawn is still alive. [Variety]

· Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington considerately spares the TV Academy the trouble of ignoring him come Emmy nomination time by withdrawing his name from awards consideration. His time in gayhab obviously taught him an important lesson about transparent expressions of publicist-encouraged humility. [Variety]
· More Speed Racer casting news we can't really get excited about: Matthew Fox is close to signing on to join the project as nemesis Racer X. [THR ]
· The lineup for the Cannes Film Festival is jam-packed with U.S. movies both in competition (with entries by Tarantino, David Fincher, and the Coen Brothers) and on the premiere schedule (Ocean's 13), giving the French ample opportunity to alternately boo American cultural imperialism and offer standing ovations inspired by the sight of George Clooney in a tuxedo. [Variety]
· Hitch and I Now Pronounce You Fake Gay Husbands, Now Punch Out That Guy Before Someone Thinks You're Really A Homo star Kevin James embraces his typecasting as a lovable schlub, entering negotiations to play an "average guy" who inherits some land that turns out to be its own country in One Nation Under Bob. [THR]
· Rumors are circulating that NBC might not renew the original Law & Order unless creator Dick Wolf figures out a way to fire his entire cast and produce each episode on a budget of $100 or less. [Variety]

· Pretty boy shingle fight! Warner Bros. and Leonardo DiCaprio's Appian Way defeat Paramount and Brad Pitt's Plan B for the rights to adapt upcoming autobiography The Wolf of Wall Street. The resulting project will allow for the continued collaboration of muse DiCaprio and master Martin Scorsese (is this whole thing creepy yet? Sort of, right?) at an undisclosed future point in the director's busy schedule. [Variety]
· Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson are officially signed to do the last two movies in the franchise, allowing all pervs to feel closure about our their long-held feelings about how hot a (totally legal!) Hermione was going to be by the end of the saga. [THR]
· Short on original programming to celebrate with cheerful posters that might distract their
employees from the drudgery of their half-network existence, The CW has instead decided to commission some artwork to enliven their workplace. Pictured: an installation placed near the development department entitled, "We Will Splatter Your Fucking Brains On Your Cubicle Wall If You Don't Start Coming Up With Some Show Ideas, And Fast." [Variety]
· Bill Clinton admits that TV Land is the only thing that can dull the pain of loneliness while Hils is out on the campaign trail. [THR]
· The cash-strapped, East Coasted Daytime Emmy-givers of NATAS announce that winners will have to pay $350 each for their statuettes if there's more than one recipient in their category, while its West Coast counterpart promises to reimburse any Emmy victors from its jurisdiction unlucky enough to get stuck with a bill from their cheap peers. [Variety]

· Famously temperamental thespian Russell Crowe will make his directorial debut on a feature adaptation of the documentary Bra Boys, about three brothers who started an underground surf movement in Sydney, during which the novice helmer will learn precisely how much damage a hurled megaphone can do to a mouthy PA's skull. Imagine's Brian Grazer to superproduce. [Ed.note—Since an update to this morning's Grazergate story is possible at some point today, we're forced to spare you the headshot at this time due to image bandwidth issues that could arise from its repeated posting.] [Variety]
· News Corp. and NBC Universal announce that they will partner with Microsoft, Yahoo, and AOL to create a copyright-friendly online video distribution system that will crush the YouTubes. "A game changer!" cackles News Corp. CEO Peter Chernin while high-fiving colleague Jeff Zucker of NBCU, giddy over the untold millions of shareholder dollars they'll spend on an ultimately inferior product. [THR]
· Emboldened by the success of series like Heroes and Deal or No Deal, NBC president Kevin Reilly is confident he'll get more respect in today's meeting with media buyers than he did a year ago, when he was subjected to a humiliating round of wedgies, swirlies, and "Kick Me! My Networks Sux!" signs taped to his back by bullies whose money he was desperate to take. [Variety]
· Jet Li is in negotiations to play the bad guy in the China-set, totally unnecessary third The Mummy movie. [THR]
· The West Coast-based Academy of TV Arts & Sciences (the organization behind the Real Emmys) and East-Coasted National Academy of TV Arts & Sciences (who handle the Daytime, or Fake, Emmys) are at war! At issue: some profoundly boring shit involving who gets to give out broadband awards no one will care about for 10 years. [Variety]

· A stunning reform movement sweeps the Academy of TV Arts & Sciences! Two new Emmy rules have been introduced: The "Lost" Rule, in which potential nominees must provide an up to 250 word essay describing what the hell their show is about to assist lazy Academy staffers in the nomination process, and The Ellen Burstyn Rule, requiring that actors must have appeared in at least 5 percent of a given program to be eligible for awards immortality. [Variety]
· Steven Spielberg is shacking up with Showtime, developing the comedy The United States of Tara, concerning the Weeds-style seriocomic adventures of a suburban housewife afflicted with multiple personality disorder. The leading role is described as "a potential tour de force" for the lucky actress ultimately selected for play the one-woman ensemble. [Variety]
· New Line announces it will remake Escape from New York with star Gerard Butler, an actor so red-hot off 300's huge opening weekend that he has now earned the chance to pick up Kurt Russell's sloppy seconds. [THR]
· Var's Peter Bart weighs in on the Great Critics Vs. Crap-Craving Moviegoers War of Early 2007, suggesting the reviewers are so weary after their losing battles with 300, Norbit, Wild Hogs, and Ghost Rider that they might need to take a vacation until September, when more artiscally minded product finally surfaces. [Variety]