Tracy Morgan found a way to toe the line between being funny, and being bat-poop insane. He'll give a perfectly timed zinger, then will promptly ramble-off incoherently. This week, he was everywhere promoting Cop Out, and he wore his crazypants.

Today on her show, Ellen brought attention to the Hug-e-gram, a bizarre plush stick with Mickey-type hands on either end that provides its wearer with disembodied hugs.

In case you hadn't already heard about it, a woman recently fainted on The Price is Right. Ellen, always up for a good joke, brought her on the show and bought her a gift in case she faints again.

Ellen pulled a familiar stunt again on her show today with Josh Duhamel. His reaction was priceless, as he starts to swear and runs away screaming, jumping over a table to get away from a giant stuffed Panda.

For the second time in the show's history, Dennis Quaid got mic'd-up on Ellen to go undercover. He was Ellen's slave; shouting, spinning and following Ellen's every command. This time, some poor delivery guy was victim to the Quaid/Degeneres creepiness.

Dennis Quaid stopped by Ellen today to promote her new movie and Ellen—always the prankster—had something special waiting for him. A man in a giant rat costume, to be precise.

While demonstrating the gift that wife Portia De Rossi bought for her, Ellen accidentally shows us how not to use a Segway. She notes, "Did we get it on tape? Because that's the most important thing." Yes Ellen. You did.

Today on Ellen, Ricky Gervais discussed his upcoming gig hosting the Golden Globes. His demands in order to host? No singing and dancing— and no rehearsal. Also included: a superfluous shot of his underpants.

A few years back, Ellen sent Dennis Quaid into a Starbucks with a hidden camera. She forced him to say egomanical statements and talk about himself in the third person. Quaid gamely plays along.

Today Ellen announced Simon Cowell will be leaving American Idol on the very day she begins her stint as a judge. She did not, however, make any predictions about the future of the show in his absence.

Today would be Elvis' 75th birthday. So naturally he would want Jackie Chan to sing "Fools Rush In" while promoting The Wacky Tuxedo 3 (working title) on Ellen. We wanted this to be bad. We really did. But it isn't.

· Uh—we think we just saw Chris Matthews grab two heaping handfuls of Ellen DeGeneres. · Heather Locklear was charged with a misdemeanor DUI. The complaint alleges she was driving under the influence of drugs; "to wit: prescription medications." The florid language didn't end there, as the filing went on to state "that which we call OxyContin by any other generic name would impair as sweetly; Heather! Doff thy name, and for that name which if no part of thee, takest while riding most heavy of machineries." · Having trouble figuring out what today's TRL finale means for a nation at historical crossroads? Idolator explains. · The first reviews of Australia from Down Under suggest it has "has international blockbuster written all over it," and "is certainly not one destined to be a classic." · Yes, we all know Prince told The New Yorker he doesn't approve of "people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever," over a nice plate of soup. But what kind of soup? Starfish and Coffee soup? Cream of AwwoooooooahHundalasiliah soup? Turns out it was just carrot, but BWE.tv let their imaginations run wild.

Ellen DeGeneres has begun to soften on the admirably hard-line stance she took on behalf of Hollywood's striking writers: On today's show (taped earlier in the week) she still refused to do a monologue, but has migrated back to the mark where she typically begins each broadcast. Still, she continues to cross the line, raising the question of whether or not she'll do the same when the Talk Show DJ's Guild talks come up later this year, and she's forced to weather the spittle-flecked invective of its single member, Stryker, fighting for his fair percentage of audience-boogying residuals.