As we speak, Lindsay Lohan's preliminary evidentiary hearing for the felony theft of a necklace has adjourned for lunch. LiLo arrived at court with her hair in a sloppy bun and wide blue sailor pants billowing above a pair of patent leather peep-toe pumps. Long-suffering assistant Elinore tagged along, Louis Vuitton tote (laptop case?) in hand.

Lady Gaga crowd surfs in pasties and fishnet, and gets licked. Dina Lohan plans a family garage sale. Katy Perry's new song is about how bad her ex-boyfriend was in bed. Monday gossip is orally fixated.

An unnamed Victoria's Secret model destroys a priceless work of art by rubbing her perfect body across it. Lindsay Lohan's assistant quits in a huff. Bethenny Frankel's mysterious first husband revealed. TGIFriday gossip.