Another day, another lawsuit against Lindsay Lohan, this time for impoverishing a Hollywood boutique. At least her abused assistant came back? Both halves of The Bachelor contemplate naked photoshoots. Zoe Saldana is engaged. Thursday gossip is a forgone conclusion.

"Miserable" Britney seeks solace with a sleazy ex-boyfriend. Kim Kardashian has a new beau. Robert Pattinson "just took a shit on the Queen's face." (Sort of.) Lindsay Lohan's ex-assistant remains loyal. Thursday gossip will stab you in the back.