People really, really want to believe private jets are BACK. Just ask the Economist, or the Wall Street Journal. If we can ogle plutocratic excess again, things will finally feel normal. Never mind that it's a delusion.

The gross domestic product fell one percent last quarter. What does that mean?

Sure, the S&P 500 fell 9 percent last week as financial problems spread further beyond Wall Street. But now one troubled bank. Wachovia, is in such high demand that the federal government had to step in to mediate a dispute between two bitterly competing suitors, Citigroup and Wells Fargo. This must be great news for the economy, because Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit has lost the scowl added to his Wall Street Journal woodcut in the early days of the financial crisis. See his portrait, left, taken from WSJ.com this weekend. He's even forgotten how embarrassing it was when Wells stole the Wachovia deal out from under him! This must mean the panic is over forever, right??

President Bush inspires so much apathy that even anti-war protesters can't be bothered to go to Crawford, TX, and heckle the beleaguered lame duck. From the department of great openings: "For the last presidential election campaign, Norma Nelson Crow hung an 11-foot-long banner above her thriving souvenir shop here that said, "Bush 2004." On election night, she and her employees celebrated by overlaying it with a new word, so the banner read, 'Bush Wins.' These days, another banner flaps in the hot August breeze: 'Building for Sale.'" [WSJ]