In your gusty Friday media column: Kathleen Parker may be doomed, Adweek's big reinvention approaches, the Iraqi shoe-thrower gets nabbed again, the USA vs. James Risen, and Dylan Ratigan's not holy after all.

Today we looked at a very salient political media rant that oddly enough happened on morning television. His attention caught by all the noise, God descended into the comments to weigh in.

On Morning Joe today, MSNBC's Dylan Ratigan gave a phenomenally, remarkably, uncommonly honest and incisive rant about the fallacy of America's "War with Islam," calling it "an extraordinary failure of our politicians and our media." It is well worth watching.

In a New York Times story portraying MSNBC is independent and not at all like those ideologues at Fox News, Rachel Maddow says, "we're not saying ‘Call your congressman, show up at this rally!" This is not true.

Here's MSNBC's Dylan Ratigan behaving like your high-school gym coach this morning when his guest Mark McKinnon tried to talk about something that wasn't marked down on Ratigan's clipboard as an approved topic of conversation.

It's August 20th: our RSS feeds have slowed to a crawl and everyone else is at the beach. But the political-media outrage machine carries on. ABC's Jake Tapper, MSNBC's Dylan Ratigan, Touré and Malcom X all need a vacation.

Oh shit. Dylan Ratigan aired an embarrassing clip of Jonathan Capehart scarfing a bagel. So this morning Capehart's mom called in and chewed Ratigan out for mocking her son. She is cool, but somehow we think this isn't making Jon look cooler. [Jon Capehart is actually cool!]

MSNBC keeps the Washington Post's Jonathan Capehart locked in a room with a camera. Sometimes they throw him a bagel, which he scarfs down because he's hungry from never not being on television, and then they laugh at him.

• ABC and NBC will face off on Thursday night with competing tributes to Farrah Fawcett, who died today. But you probably expected that, no? [NYT]
• David Letterman beat out Conan in the ratings last week, the first time the Late Show has dominated the weekly ratings since 2005. [THR]
• Rosie O'Donnell will debut a new show on Sirius XM this fall. [NYDN]
• Rumor has it Ben Silverman's tenure at NBC may be ending soon. [DHD]
• Fox News now averages the same number of viewers as CNN, MSNBC, and HLN combined. Cue an evil grin across Roger Ailes's face. [THR]
• Wired editor-in-chief Chris Anderson's new book contains material he ripped from Wikipedia. But he's really, really sorry about it, okay? [NYP]

Dylan Ratigan's new MSNBC show launches next week. To judge by this audio, sent by a tipster, of Ratigan berating a producer during a commercial break, his new colleagues must be thrilled to have him.

• This is a bizarre one: Two police chiefs in Ohio are now under investigation for allegedly breaking into the home of the surrogate mom hired by Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick in an effort to dig up dirt on the woman, which they then planned to sell to the tabloids or use to blackmail the couple. [Us, E!, NYDN]
• Madonna is gearing up for the arrival of baby Mercy. Gwynnie is helping to decorate and Mercy's room will supposedly feature "porcelain dolls, antique teddy bears, a library of leather-bound children's books and ancient maps of Africa to adorn the walls." [Sun]
• It looks like Lindsay Lohan is off the hook for that $400,000 jewel heist the other day. So at least there's one thing looking up for her. [NYDN]

Dylan Ratigan, the CNBC anchor who abruptly left the network a month ago, is heading to MSNBC. Funny thing, because he promised ABC News he was all theirs as soon as his noncompete agreement was up.

• Walt Disney reported that profits plunged 46% last quarter. [Variety, WSJ]
• Mort Zuckerman's plan to save newspapers involves bingo. Really! [NYM]
• The New York Times Co. has reached a deal with the unions at the Boston Globe, although it may take a few weeks to vote on the compromise. [E&P]
• NBC's Washington headquarters is contaminated with asbestos! [NYO]
• Tricky Dylan Ratigan isn't joining ABC after all. He's going to MSNBC. [Gawker]
• Michael Wolff may hate the New York Times, but if it weren't for the Times, he'd probably have nothing to rant about on his unknown website. [HP]
• Amazon unveiled its fancy, new Kindle reader today. [NYT, E&P]

• The publisher of the Los Angeles Times is defending his decision to put an ad disguised as a news story on the front page of the paper yesterday. [LAT]
• A Fox Entertainment employee has reportedly been arrested for stealing the personal information of other Fox employees. [TVN]
• NBC is developing a sitcom based on George Gurley's Observer column. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham and Lauren Conrad were among the "most salable cover faces" for fashion magazines in 2008. The least? Nicole Kidman, Carrie Underwood, and Rachel Weisz. [WWD]
• Dylan Ratigan talks about his departure from CNBC and move to ABC. [BI]
• Speaking of covers, are struggling celebrity tabloids paying for them? [NYP]
• The Daily Beast, Tina Brown's website, will introduce ads shortly. [AdAge]
• Fox News chairman Roger Ailes and his wife, Elizabeth, have purchased another local newspaper in Putnam County. [Portfolio]
• NBC will air a "comedy showcase" featuring Jay Leno on May 19. [NYT]

• Sad news for those of you who expected "Real Housewife" Luann de Lesseps to be with her count in shining armor forever. The couple is now splitting up, reportedly because the count is getting serious with an "Ethiopian woman in Geneva." On the plus side, Luann should be able to hold on to her title as "Countess," which is the only thing that matters anyway. [P6]
• Queen Latifah has been sued by her former "beauty and style consultants" for not paying $1 million in fees. [NYP]
• Jennifer Lopez brought 11 pieces of luggage with her on her weekend trip to Japan. Even worse: They were of the cheap, non-designer variety. [DM]
• Soho House is kicking out the finance-types and says it plans to get back to its "artsy roots." Good luck with that. [P6]

In your blustery Monday media column: The NYT's folding its City section, Sam Zell's a white devil, Fulcrum and Brandweek are teetering, and Dylan Ratigan's a populist:

• It seems Michael Wolff is finally coming clean about intern-turned-girlfriend Victoria Floethe: The author and Vanity Fair contributor brought her to a tasting at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar last week and now admits he and his wife Alison Anthoine are planning to divorce. [P6]
• This will probably come as a huge surprise given his upstanding reputation, but it's rumored Bernie Madoff hasn't been faithful to his wife all these years, and may have cheated on her on a couple of occasions. [R&M]
• A "friend" of Joe Biden's daughter Ashley has been trying to sell a tape of her allegedly snorting cocaine for $250,000. [NYDN]
• Madonna appeared in a Malawian court today to discuss her adoption of a four-year-old girl, but a judge put off a decision until Friday. [AP, NYP]

• Madonna's kicked boytoy Jesus Luz to the curb and is thrilled to be single again, reports Britain's Daily Mail based on the things she's been telling fans on Twitter. But as the Times reminds us today, lots of celebs only pretend to use Twitter, so you don't have to give up hope entirely just yet. [DM]
• In related news, Madonna is expected to arrive in Malawi this weekend so she can add another baby to her collection of human accessories. [NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. only broke up recently, but she may have already moved on: She was spotted at a "rebound dinner" earlier this week. [P6]
• More trouble for CNBC: The network's golden boy, Dylan Ratigan, may be heading out the door after clashing with management. [P6]
• Ivana Trump may have reunited with her ex, Rossano Rubicondi. [P2L]
• Mega real estate broker Kathy Sloane has been hit with $248K tax lien. [P6]

It's Friday, everyone's turning the page. Madonna wants a new Malawi baby; Method Man promises to pay his taxes and it's Dylan Ratigan's last day to yell at his CNBC producer on camera.

Here's Dylan Ratigan of CNBC, going off on the Microsoft-Yahoo merger. And we do mean going off. Ratigan is a veteran of Bloomberg News, a serious business journalist. But not in this clip. No, in this clip, it's clear that a madness has begun to creep across Ratigan's cool facade. Why? Might it be that he, the stallwart reporter, has been up since dawn covering today's news? Bringing you people constant updates on Microsoft and Yahoo? Downing coffee and skipping meals? Might that be why he's a little loopy? A little crazy? A little giddy? Just like the rest of us hacks? Hallelujah say yeah!