Have you ever wanted to smell like a city? Now's your chance: The City of Beverly Hills next year will debut its own line of perfume, emblazoned with the city's logo because it is a "center of fashion, sophistication, energy."

Dogs and babies are the only creatures that vomit more than college freshmen do. Allowing dogs in dorms, then, is dangerous, but it's happening anyway. Come, witness a terrible world where week-old pizza in the common room contains dog turds.

YourTango CEO Andrea Miller is married to an Indian man, and he's great. To help other white ladies meet "incredibly attractive brown people," "innately gracious, social creatures" who "love to dance," she wrote a guide for the Huffington Post.

Are you sick of Twitter yet? Probably! But if not, wait patiently because the spunky little messaging service is teaming with a group of Hollywood geniuses to bring you an "unscripted show" that would "harness Twitter to put players on the trail of celebrities in an interactive, competitive format." Yeah.

Holy hell are the Mumbai slums a miserable place. That's the important lesson we learned when we watched the documentary fairy tale Slumdog Millionaire. And now we'd like to fetishize the film's young stars.

You know that thing where sometimes when you leave the subway you're kind of disoriented and you maybe walk half a block in the wrong direction? The City of New York and the Grand Central Partnership, inspired by an unnamed Upper East Side man quoted in the Times last year, have come up with a brilliant solution to that nagging problem: giant compass stickers with smallish directions printed on them and stuck right on the ground outside the stops. So now instead of wasting 30 seconds walking the wrong way every now and then you can claw through 500 retards stopping directly at the top of the stairs to study the goddamn ground in the middle of rush hour. [NYT]

Some tool is offering a Jeremy Blake-Theresa Duncan movie script for sale—was it a double suicide or a murder, blah blah. They have a website! They want $1.5 mil. Ha! It's the most retarded thing we've seen on the internet since those animated gifs of cross-eyed kittens eating tacos! [Fisbhowlla]