The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had a lot of fun in Australia on Wednesday, lightly placing their fingers on records under the close supervision of a professional disc jockey. After being reassured several times they had not been party to criminal conduct, the royal couple likely returned to their hotel and made real wild, freaky love until 4 p.m., when it was time to dress for their next event.

This month, powerful baby Prince George performs his first official royal duty—an inspection of British penal colonies and their outlying areas—as he and his parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, spend three weeks traveling across Australia and New Zealand. During this time, Gawker.com will publish a selection of entries from his minder Kate Middleton's travel journals.

Earlier this week, St. James’ Palace and Good Manners Emporium confirmed to the world that when Kate Middleton has her baby in a few weeks, the whole affair is gonna be real cool and classy, not dirty and stupid.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's private secretary has just released the itinerary for the couple's upcoming eight-day, endless nights, Magical Mystery Tour of the Asian Pacific.