• The government is in talks with Citigroup to raise its stake in the beleaguered bank to between 25 and 40 percent. [WSJ, DB]
• Federal regulators plan to review the financial condition of 20 banks this week as part of a round of "stress tests." [NYT, BN]
• Regulators have seized Allen Stanford's companies in Antigua and Barbuda; Stanford has also surrendered his passport to U.S. authorities. [Reuters]
• Shares in UBS have fallen to an all-time low as the bank continues to reel from allegations of tax fraud. [Reuters, DB]
• Even Dubai needs a bailout these days: The UAE said yesterday it will give the once-highflying emirate $10 billion. [WSJ]
• Steve Feinberg's Cerberus is closing down its Hong Kong office. [FT]
• Hedge funder Richard Perry is cutting fees to keep investors happy. [WSJ]
• The SEC is now in hot water over its handling of insider-trading accusations involving former executives at Lehman Brothers. [NYT]

Do you remember when running away to Dubai was everybody's Plan B? The Persian Gulf statelet, relatively light on oil, invented a boom through sheer hope and flashiness. Now foreigners are fleeing.

While you may be feeling sorry for yourself now that you've been laid off from your job and you're spending afternoons watching reality TV reruns on your couch, at least your couch isn't located in Dubai. The Times reports today on just how bad the situation has become in the former construction capital of the world. At this time last year Americans were jumping on jets to move to the boomtown, attracted by cushy jobs, fancy digs (and perhaps tasty Middle Eastern cuisine). Now? Not so much.

The accursed, Troyer-felling labors of Dr. Parnassus behind him, Terry Gilliam has wheedled his way into Dubai, where he hopes all those oil riches make for better door-to-door panhandling in advance of his next film.

Are you a horrible camera flash-stained, fraying-at-the-edges tabloid media darling who mourns the loss of the recent American rococo decade? Is everyone being poor and complaining all the time just too much for you? Well worry not, dear inexplicably financed friend, because Dubai is waiting for you! Oh you know about crazy Dubai, don't you? Unlike this ailing and needy nation, the Arab Emirate is flush with sandy money and crazy man-made islands and, ooo, brand-new gaudy hotels! Like a beacon or a lighthouse calling to them out of the icky dark, American celebrities who had it better when the world was gold showed up in droves for the huge, $20 million dollar opening gala for the new Atlantis Palms megaresort in Dubai this week. Look who was there partying while we back here in the home country hopped boxcars and ate cold soup thickened with sawdust: Cocaine-snazzled actress Lindsay Lohan, who is now a gay person dating a gay woman who deejayed at the bash. Odious "actress" and model Mischa Barton (who, OK, was born in England, but she made her money here). Tax-dodging half-vampire Wesley Snipes. Too-bored-to-ever-know-where-she-is fashion plate Mary Kate Olsen. I guess things here in the patriotic old US of A got a bit too messy for them, a bit too elbow-greasy. So they flit on over to some twirling, towering desert city of steel and glass where the champagne still flows and the hotels are tacky and people still have the energy to celebrate it all. Fair-weather Americans if you ask me. While the country burns—literally and figuratively—these folks spent how much on dresses (and, um, banana-yellow suits in the case of Mr. Snipes), to go fete it up in the Middle East and had the audacity to smile?? Well I hope they like it over there in Terrorist Disney World, because they aren't allowed back here. All images via Getty

The recession didn't put a damper on Sol Kerzner's plans to throw one of the most lavish parties in recent memory. The South African casino mogul threw a $25 million fête in Dubai this evening to celebrate the opening of the Atlantis, his $1.5 billion hotel on the man-made island of Palm Jumeirah. (It's modeled on his Bahamas resort by the same name.) A long list of stars put in appearances (Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Robert De Niro, Charlize Theron, Mary-Kate Olsen, Albert Hammond Jr., Agyness Deyn), Kylie Minogue was paid in the neighborhood of $4 million to perform a 60-minute set, and a bunch of famous chefs (like Nobu Matsuhisa) were responsible for assembling the menu. Now Kerzner just has to figure out how to get people to rent rooms that begin at $800 a night (and go up to $25,000) and he can start making his money back. [WSJ, Daily Mail]

Paris Hilton is going to have a lot of work ahead of her if she expects to stimulate the Dubai real estate market. A survey issued today reports that residential prices there plummeted 19 percent during the month of October. [WSJ, previously]

An Abu Dhabi-based developer, Hydra Properties, has reportedly offered Paris Hilton $2 million to lend her name to a set of apartment buildings in Dubai. (Naturally, the buildings will be named "Paris Hilton Towers" if she agrees to the deal.) This is the same company, we should point out, that tapped Antonio Banderas as a company pitchman a few months ago, which suggests either real estate developers in the Gulf are getting very desperate or there's a rich sheikh out there looking to get lucky. [Gulf News via Curbed]

Stocks were pummeled once again today with the Dow shedding 500 points and the S&P falling to its lowest level since April 21, 2003. Normally at a time like this, we'd direct your attention to the blog Sad Guys on Trading Floors, or even the more recent Brokers With Hands on Their Faces. In the spirit of diversity, though, we thought we'd mix it up and introduce you to a brand new photo feature, which we're officially calling Sad Arab Traders Wearing Kaffiyehs and Holding Their Hands to Their Faces. More pics after the jump.

The very first Airbus A380 "superjumbo" jet is scheduled to fly into JFK tomorrow afternoon, filled to capacity with 489 well-heeled people from Dubai. (It's an Emirates flight.) Great news for the numerous New Yorkers who travel there frequently, sure. Even better news for the city's property owners, who will have likely unloaded half a dozen office towers in Midtown by tomorrow evening. [Crain's]

Jetsetting nightlife trend update: It's not just Dubai that's the hot new destination for NYC club owners bored with drab Americans. Egypt will soon be an attractive stop for money-burning Eurotrash wastrels as well! Undaunted by the country's Islamic system of law and taboos against homosexuality, intoxication, and women doing things (party!), we hear that the Pink Elephant club moguls are building a club aboard a 26,000-square-foot, $100 million party boat that is scheduled to sail the Nile river this coming New Year's eve. I hope they have all their government payoffs in order.

All the hot NYC club mavens are opening their next nightlife outposts in Dubai. "You’re only a few hours from Europe and Asia,” explains one. The Arctic Circle also fits that criteria. Get there early! [NY Mag]

If it feels like every week brings news of yet another cash-strapped American company raising money from Abu Dhabi or Dubai or selling itself entirely to one of these emirates, it isn't your imagination. From real estate (the GM building) to finance (Citigroup), cash has been pouring in from the Middle East as of late. But the expressway of money goes in both directions. Today the Times covered many of the banks setting up shop in Dubai. But loads of other prominent New Yorkers are heading East to take advantage of the petro-dollar gravy train. Here's a look at the growing list of prominent restaurateurs, fashion designers, architects, and real estate developers setting up shop in one of the world's fastest-growing—and richest—regions.

Because Karl Lagerfeld is almost as decadent and weird as Dubai is, the two have decided to work together. The fashion designer will be designing 80 Chanel-brand "haute homes" for the ridiculously wealthy Arab Emirate, to be located on the wonderfully named-like something out of a 1970's Betty & Veronica comic-Fashion Island (well, Isla Moda). Fashion Island (a great place to spend a sexy weekend!) is situated within The World, perhaps Dubai's batshittiest real estate development. Well, maybe not. Lagerfeld is typically grandiloquent in his statement about the project:

Blogger, VC, and Internet gadabout Joi Ito noticed that Twitter is blocked in the United Arab Emirates for being "inconsistent with the religious, cultural, political and moral values" of the country. We're not sure exactly why the microblogging site is so objectionable — probably something to do with free speech. Or the text-message profit margins of local telephone companies.

The onetime fluffer of New York Sun column "Lunch at the Four Seasons," Pranay Gupte, was last seen on his way to Dubai to take over as business editor at the Khaleej Times (he was to give the paper his "Gupte touch"). Last Friday he returned to New York, bounced out of the job after 13 days. Gupte's extended explanation points the finger ultimately at a government takeover of the Khaleej Times causing his ouster. It's hard to tell where Gupte really places the blame though, since he trashes the paper's old owner, one of the editors, the paper's overall quality, and its new status as a "government organ," all the while singing the praises of Dubai's autocratic ruler, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum. As anyone familiar with Dubai knows, Khaleej Times has generally sucked for some time, and the press there has only ever been just as free as the government has seen fit to allow. Anyway, though Gupte mentions the same incidents dismissively, a tipster claims Gupte was booted for more personal reasons.

In a particularly strange twist, the prickly Pranay Gupte, formerly the writer of numerous "Lunch at the Four Seasons" puff pieces for the New York Sun, has picked up stakes and taken on the business editorship at Dubai's Khaleej Times. From his announcement:

Feel you don't know quite enough about Dubai, the United Arab Emirate that could not possibly be trusted to own the company that runs our ports? Of course not. And this, friends, is why God — or, at least, Nick Denton — created Gridskipper, and wanderlusting little brother. This week, lil 'Skipper has broken the chains of Manhattan and set off, Lawrence-like, to explore this little corner of Arabia. Won't you follow him as he spends a fancy-free week in Dubai? He started things off by locating several Starbucksim, and we assure you things get even better from there. Bon voyage!