A man who was minding his own business, just drinking in a tree like we all do sometimes, met his fate in a horrible freak accident when he fell from said tree and was impaled on a fence. Good reason not to climb trees.

He just wanted some candy. According to the New York Post, that's what a drunk Brooklyn man told authorities after leading them on a thrilling five-minute, 35 mph street sweeper chase on Thursday.

It took a dozen police officers to calm down a drunken Australian wedding celebration that ended with the bride in the hospital and the groom and best man under arrest Friday.

In his strangely poetic mugshot, Gabriel Harris of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., appears to be the saddest man in the world, wracked with a deep and abiding pain we can hardly begin to comprehend. But was he upset at his arrest, or at being dragged away empty-handed from Taco Bell at 3 a.m.? Either seems pretty plausible when you're drunk.

On Halloween, 16-year-old Sash Nemphos planned to kill his parents, drive to school, use a handgun, homemade bombs, and a weapon he hoped to steal from a police officer to kill as many people as possible and commit suicide, police say. But then he got too drunk.

Stephen Ramsey, a 45-year-old lothario, was arrested in his Naples, Florida, home after getting wasted and calling 911 several times looking for a date. At one point, with a chuckle, he asked the operator about her feelings on handcuffs before hanging up.

A 54-year-old drunken clown was arrested in Michigan this week for sitting in his garage and firing his pellet gun at a can on the street on what would have otherwise been a perfectly nice Monday morning.

Flying these days can be a very dicey affair—you never know who you're going to get stuck with on a long flight and the person seated in front of you could end up being anyone—a no-good recliner, or worse, a very, very drunk lady.

On a flight from Enfindha, Tunisia to Edinburgh, Scotland last night, a drunk woman, apparently angry that flight crew members wouldn't give her cigarettes and/or a parachute, allegedly took off her prosthetic leg and attacked flight attendants with it.

Sometimes the meandering course of one's #winning finds one drunk and craving Taco Bell of an evening, so one does the natural thing and has Gary fire up the car and take one's hammered ass to the drive-thru.

Wesley Mark Terrell, a 60-year-old man from Oconee County, Georgia, had a perfectly reasonable explanation when cops asked him about the dog that was locked inside his car on a recent 99-degree day.

We've all been there: stuck in a futile, seemingly intractable situation and about to give up hope, when suddenly someone shows us we've been approaching the problem the wrong way. Or actually drunk and trying to climb an actual fence. Happens to everybody.

Police say an on-duty rural Alaskan cop got drunk and sent dozens of sexually charged text messages to a 12-year-old girl from a governmental cell phone.

For whatever reason, this video of an apparently sloshed Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry performing Boyz II Men karaoke staple "I'll Make Love to You" at a friend's birthday in December 2008 surfaced on the Internet today, nearly five years later. The performance is pretty atrocious (also entertaining in the way closed circuit video of drunk celebrities crawling into one another's laps can't help but be), but, then, neither of them is known for being a particularly good singer.

Losing your keys while you're drunk is something that happens to most people, eventually. What doesn't usually happen is the next part of 20-year-old Tom Stilwell's story: surviving a fall from a neighbor's 15th floor balcony at 2 a.m. after attempting to jump to a balcony below.

An Ohio woman with an unfortunate appellation was indicted by a grand jury last week, several months after she allegedly struck and seriously injured a bicyclist while operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol.

Budget negotiations at the U.N. are probably boring, drawn-out affairs, and as such, delegates apparently have a tradition of having a drink or two before the meetings begin. But according to Joseph Torsella, the U.S. ambassador for management and reform at the United Nations, certain delegates have been showing up completely wasted to recent negotiations.

As you slip into bed tonight wondering how you spent another night watching television for six hours, think about the other types of fun you could be having. Like, for instance, getting hammered and stealing multiple vehicles, including an ambulance and two cars. And also trying to steal two horses. Definitely trying to steal two horses.

A 22-year-old college student in Rhode Island learned the hard way that, while you can get away with a lot of dumb drunken shit in college, what you absolutely cannot do is defy basic physics and do something like run through an eight-inch wide alley. For reasons that escape even her, Courtney Malloy attempted just such a feat and, of course, got stuck.

A drunk woman has been arrested after making a total ass of herself on a flight.