California's ballot proposition to legalize marijuana has drawn a likely foe: The California Beer & Beverage Distributors. They're spending to oppose the measure and preserve alcohol's monopoly on legal vice. Sigh. It's terrible when mommy and daddy fight like this.

In yet another video from Taiwan's Next Media Animation, Paris Hilton's gift for getting off easy on drug charges is examined through CGI. In it, Paris sells out her friends and sniffs Comet while cleaning a toilet for community service.

Marijuana harvesters in Oakland, California have joined the Teamsters and negotiated a pay raise, pension, vacations and health insurance. It turns out handling bud all day is surprisingly taxing.

Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test for cocaine and now TMZ reports she failed a second test, this time for amphetamines. Possibly it was due to her Adderall prescription. Update: An arrest warrant has been issued for LiLo.

Superbugs! Libido lack! Depressed students! Football brain! Dumb food docs! Marines with cancer! Whooping cough! Headline minds! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—as best we can, through the fog of concussion!

Oh no! Illegal drug use in America has risen to the highest level since 2002, according to a government report, driven by increases in the use of marijuana, ecstasy, and methamphetamine. Here are some of the figures:

Hey, look, a website that crowdsources information on the price of weed in various world cities, then calculates averages and charts it on a Google map. File under: Synergy, Inevitabilities, Reasons To Move To The Pacific Northwest. [PriceofWeed.com]

Lazy Congressmen don't even return from summer vacation until tomorrow, but somebody's already pretending to kill them. The Capitol was evacuated today after a powder was discovered on the House floor. It wasn't toxic, however; probably just some staffer's blow.

Ever thought it'd be cool to take some hallucinogenic drugs and check out a movie—say, sci-fi masterpiece 2001: A Space Odyssey? This guy thought it'd be cool. And his trip—and resultant freakout—was recorded by five different audience members.

Moms and dads, you might be disappointed with how your kids turned out. But always remember it's not as bad as it could be. Edgar Valdez Villarreal went from a high school football star in Texas to Mexican drug lord.

An adviser to California Sen. Barbara Boxer has resigned after he was caught bringing "a green, leafy substance which tested positive for marijuana" to his office yesterday, according to Capitol police. Apparently "fun" is banned on the Hill these days.

"Girls Gone Wild" boss and Douche of the Decade Joe Francis is suing to stop the sale of former employee Ryan Simkin's tell-all book. But Simkin gave us an excerpt (below)—involving Paris Hilton smuggling coke and ecstasy, sexxxily.

A new study indicates that psilocybin—which you may know by the "street name" magic mushrooms—can help cancer patients alleviate anxiety and depression some six months after the initial dose. Illegal drugs: Totally good for you!

Still angry after his failed bid for president of Haiti, Wycef Jean hit back at Sean Penn for questioning his ability to handle the job: "maybe he ain't see me in Haiti because he was too busy sniffing cocaine."

A Goodwill store in Albuquerque, New Mexico received a bizarre donation in its collection box last week: a pistol, a grenade, some ammo and some weed. The store was evacuated until the bomb squad arrived and gave the all clear.

"Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?" was the text message a Montana teen thought he was sending to his weed dealer. But he got the number wrong and sent it to the local sheriff.

Psychosis drugs! Botox drugs! Chimpanzee hugs! Diet drugs! Porno fugs! Malaria drugs! Teenage shrugs! And dementia drugs! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—and wealth, and knowledge of self!

Six months after serving time on federal weapons charges, rapper T.I. was arrested driving last night in West Hollywood after police "smelled a strong odor of marijuana emitting from the vehicle." Another celebrity undone by the "vapor trail."

Tonight, Anna Wintour and Marc Jacobs visited Late Night to promote "Fashion's Night Out." The best parts of the interview, however, had to do with Lady Gaga's pre-performance prayer ritual (much to Wintour's chagrin) and Jacobs' morphine drip. Highlights inside.

The American teen tradition of chugging Robitussin and trippin' could soon become a lot harder if the man gets his way. The Food and Drug Administration is trying to crack down on the over-the-counter sale of medicine containing dextromethorphan. Lame.