Hey, parents! What's the best way to stop your kids from doing drugs? What's that you say? A conversation? Ha! Nice try, hippie. The best way to stop your kids from doing drugs is to search your home with a drug-sniffing dog once a week, rented from Maryland's very own nonprofit organization, Dogs Finding Drugs:

Stand-up comedian Ralphie May got busted for carrying pot in Guam's airport because he walked up to the drug-sniffing dog and tried to play with it. In case you're wondering, that's a bad idea when you're carrying.