The California drought is killing all the almonds, causing prices to surge to record levels and sending major buyers scrambling across the globe for new sources of almond supplies. Damn. Almonds are good though.

Why has Iran suffered through so many droughts over the last few years? Many people would say "weather patterns, or whatever." But Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad knows the truth! "Western countries have designed plans to cause drought in certain areas of the world," he said in a speech in the Iranian city of Arak. And not only that! "European countries are using special equipment to force clouds to dump" rain on their own countries.