President Obama has a wonderful, versatile voice, and it's a shame that it's wasted on things like convincing Democrats to cut Social Security. Luckily, musician and Something Awful forum poster Dan Warren has spent four years making sure that Obama's voice doesn't go to waste—cutting and editing snippets from the audio recording of his book Dreams From My Father into a... well, we're not sure. Performance piece? Spoken word recording?

One of the all-time Top Five, or really Top One, Barack Obama conspiracy theories is back in the news! Did you know that Barack Obama's terrorist friend, former Weather Underground member Bill Ayers, secretly ghostwrote the president's memoir, Dreams From My Father? This story has been around for several years and still comically emerges from time to time, like right now. The wingnuts have caught Ayers "admitting" that he wrote Barack Obama's book, again, when he was clearly making fun of them for ever believing something so stupid.

Have you heard the one about how leftist terrorist boogeyman Bill Ayers secretly wrote Barack Obama's memoirs? You will! Because Ayers just admitted it!