Yesterday, Somali pirates dramatically seized a Russian oil tanker with 23 crew members and $52 million in oil aboard. But a "robust" response from a hearty band of Russian sailors has liberated the seamen—no oil necessary.

Somali pirates are dramatic to a point, but they lack that spy-novelesque element of international (supernatural?) intrigue. Luckily, there may be unknown pirate forces lurking in the seas off Europe—they've already grabbed one ship carrying...secrets???