“They packed the bowl of the pipe (the terminology of which I found on reddit), and showed me how to smoke it properly.” America’s least cool 23-year-old tries weed (slang for marijuana).

Men wearing sport coats and jeans: no. You want to be formal? Fine, wear a sport coat. You want to be casual? Fine, wear jeans. Pick one, and stand by your choice—Like A Real Man.

As if these photos of Colin Powell cutting a rug—pursed lips conveying his boogie-woogie seriousness in one; hands-on-hips stance indicating he may be contemplating a hernia-inducing squat dance in another—weren't uncomfortable enough, now we have approximately 20 digital-video seconds of the former secretary of state grooving out to a Daft Punk song about staying up all night for the nookie. Also, included: Pharrell's croon, Katie Holmes Doing the Shoulders, and a full-club karaoke singalong. The Hamptons will embarrass you every time.

Former secretaries of state: They're just like us, right down to the emotional affairs with Romanian diplomats and the looking like dorks while dancing with your friends.

Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook "timeline" just went up, and it paints the billionaire mogul as a harmless dork. Rock, paper, scissors tournament, check; fleece and gym shorts in Morocco, check; weird self portrait , check. But Obama thinks he's dope. Of course.

Rick Santorum has long struggled with his "Google problem," in which the first result of a "rick santorum" search defines "Santorum" as a filthy anal sex byproduct. This has been the case since gay activist and columnist Dan Savage coordinated a successful Google bomb in 2003. But Santorum finally appears to have accepted his fate as a search engine joke, and is now trying to raise cash off of it.

Last week we breathlessly reported on America's Whitest Colleges, which we deduced from a list of schools that had signed deals to have Brooks Brothers produce incredibly goofy clothing with their college logos. The single most shocking school that did not appear on that list: Yale. UNTIL NOW.

Brooks Brothers does not make the type of "College apparel" worn by Southeastern Conference country animals on "game day" that serves as little more than a bib for copious amounts of spilled beer and barbecue sauce. That is not what Brooks Brothers does. Brooks Brothers makes dignified casual apparel for American winners.

How do the GOP's hot studs in the House get psyched for their days of killer budget cuts and rape redefining? We'd always assumed cocaine! And maybe that's still true. But mostly it's this set of XTREME infomercial workout DVDs that they love.

The newly-formed International Quidditch Association is hoping to turn the game memorialized in the Harry Potter books into an official NCAA sport. Sorry, but until you can fly and cast spells, you're just a bunch of dorks with broom wedgies.

The World Cup is almost over. We won't know who technically won until after tomorrow's final. But like a human Paul the Octopus, Zach Dundas, author of the book The Renegade Sportsman, already knows who really won the tournament.

Harvard Medical School tried to tell its own students they couldn't speak to the (scary) media without the school's official permission. Shut up, college—literally! Haha. No we did not go to Harvard, why? Luckily!

The Republican National Committee is hiring—via YouTube! Scores of patriotic young Republicans have uploaded video job applications. Below, marvel at five of the most promising future American leaders. Al Quaeda suxxx!

Hucksters are calling bookstores, pretending to be authors, and then hitting them up for money, reports the LA Times. For example, someone might impersonate an author that will be reading at the store in a few days, asking for cash to get his car out of the impound lot. Big-hearted bookstore employees have fallen for the scams a few times, but no more: "They draw you in, and later you just feel so foolish."

First, Wal-Mart tried to endear themselves to the online world with a thoroughly corporate website full of "Facts." Then, they tried a fake, secretly corporate-sponsored blog. Now, it looks like they've learned their lesson about openness and disclosure; they've started an (apparently) uncensored corporate blog that proves once and for all that free speech is nothing to be scared of, because even high-level Wal-Mart employees are just as gee-whiz predictable and goofy as you would have imagined. Evidence of the fundamental nerdiness of the corporate steamroller—and a fun quiz!—after the jump.

We'd have to call this the most interesting bit of news in this week's Publishers Lunch weekly deal wrapup: