To be perfectly honest, we're as baffled as Paris Hilton is as to where all those silly internet items about her interest in outlandish things like cryogenics and drunken elephants originate. In other, completely unrelated news, the Simple Life star was recently spotted tending to one of her prized, extremely rare pet Oompa-Loompas, injured when the crowd at a Miami appearance got out of hand. People has the details: