Also today: some pilot casting news, a big deal visits SNL, Showtime invites two shows back for next years, and Don Johnson is going to save NBC.

Yup, it's been decided. You're next, Europe. Elsewhere this weekend, some old has-beens fared pretty well, people just kept on taking stuff, and a romantic comedy turned out to be something else altogether.

On Emmy night in 1986, Don Johnson put on his best suit and face, and what could have been a great day for him ended in a crushing defeat. A defeat that still cuts deep as we discovered last night.

She is immortal, it's already been written. Also today: the American Family movie adds some cast members, the networks pick up a bunch of shows for next season, some sad Don Johnson news, and horrible women.

Julie Taymor, the Tony-winning theater and film director, turns 57 today. Adam Brody, the actor and former star of The O.C. is turning 30. Don Johnson is 60. Stuart Townsend, the actor better known as Charlize Theron's boyfriend, turns 37. Virginia Senator Mark Warner is turning 55. Comedian Tim Conway is 76. And Andrew Luster, the Max Factor heir and convicted rapist, will mark his 46th birthday behind bars today.

Yesterday, Kevin Maher—the ex-husband to real "coke whore" of New Jersey Danielle Staub, told Star that his ex-wife was a "nymphomaniac" who "claimed that she had been with numerous celebrities." Which celebrities? Star didn't name names. We will.

Tony-winning director Julie Taymor is 56 today. Actor Stuart Townsend (otherwise known as Mr. Charlize Theron) is 36. Adam Brody, who starred in The OC, is 29. Virginia's former governor and now Senator-elect, Mark Warner, is turning 54. And Don Johnson is 59 today.

To some, the top tier of Hollywood society means getting through the velvet rope at The Kress without a hassle, but after hanging with the crustiest of the upper crust at the opening weekend festivities of Los Angeles Opera — in which we took in Howard Shore's The Fly and Woody Allen's interpretation of Gianni Schicchi — Defamer has seen the light. Yes, there’s another level of society out there that's upholstered in rich mahogany and fine Corinthian leather, and I infiltrated it for you. So if you want to find out how the people who dress like Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly get down, strap on that cummerbund and let's begin.I’m no opera buff, but I heard that David Cronenberg was directing an opera version of The Fly and I wanted to go. When I saw that decent tickets were like $250 each, I decided to pretend I was a journalist and get in for free. This worked shockingly well. Not only did I get orchestra seats to The Fly, but also tickets to Il Trittico (a Puccini trilogy directed by William Friedkin and Woody Allen) as well as an invitation to the opening weekend black tie gala. In other words, my ass got hooked up.

We've always wondered how a schlubby guy like Jimmy Wales sees so much action. It can't be the I-founded-Wikipedia-can-I-edit-your-page pickup lines — for every Rachel Marsden he lands with those, one thinks Wales would get 10 drinks in the face. At last, we've gotten a scientific explanation: It's the stubble. A recent study found women prefer mates with stubbly cheeks to smooth faces or full beards. (Thank you, Don Johnson.) And according to Wales's comprehensive compendium of facial hair stylings, Wales himself is the iconic paragon of stubble. (Photo by EvgenyGenkin)

• Britney Spears is finally on the right path. Model Heidi Klum made her look a bit more sane by offering to fix all of Spears' problems for her, an offer that of course succeeded only in making Klum look as crazy as Dr. Phil and Courtney Love. Then Spears took another step down the path toward appropriateness and normalcy by going clubbing with her father. Everything was going so well that Spears decided the time was perfect to try on wedding dresses and steal a blouse. She ended up very glad about not wearing a bra.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw the ghost of one of The Others studying documents in a deli.

· Actress Beverly D'Angelo believes LA publicist Pat Kingsley is trying to smear her name on behalf of her children's father, Al Pacinoa client of Kingsley's. [Page Six]
· P Diddy plans on marketing fruity liquors called "Diddy Drinks." [Page Six]
· German customs officials say they stopped washed out Miami Vice actor Don Johnson with a suitcase that contained $8 billion in cash and securities. He says he was "going to buy a car." [NY Daily News]
· Vogue is looking for an addition to the English socialites in their employthe socially ubiquitous Sykes sisters. Vogue's Fashion Merch Manager annie_rinella@vogue.com is looking for an assistant with "events background," who "could be trained as a media spokesperson." [Chic Happens]