Matthew Weiner says the Draper marriage is "unambiguously over," making our Betty-betting line look generous.

The Most Successfully Boring Show In The History Of Television's season finale: tonight. NY Mag's has a nice viewers guide to watching it. The only real character suspense is how long before they go away. Spoiler: their lives suck. [Vulture]

There's only ten shopping days left before Halloween. So, it's time for Halloween costume listicles! Lots of people want to tell you what to wear. We'd like to spare you the humiliation of following their advice.

Hey, fey Park Slope stay-at-home dad who's taking care of the kids and cooking dinner because you've been freed from the yoke of oppressive gender roles: your wife wants to fuck a real man! A swarthy, hard-drinking, two-timing, emotionally distant sex hound who's not going to stop in the middle of things and think about whether he packed the kids' lunches properly. Sorry, Park Slope dad; your wife thinks you're a pussy. And you know who else thinks you're a pussy? The New York Observer. (Wow, that's bad!). They got in touch directly with your womenfolk, and they're all fantasizing about Don Draper, the heroic asshole star of Mad Men:

Click to viewBoomp3.com The creative and sales departments of popular fictitious advertising agency Sterling Cooper hit the back 9 for a lil’ company retreat on Monday afternoon. The typically Mad Men became a group of Mellow Men despite going over—very over—par on their outing. The usually dapper Don Draper enjoyed a relaxed look. Draper said, “No one bothered us. No one asked me for advice or to come home with them. It was refreshing.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

We've already run through our predictions for Emmy's comedy categories, but now it's time to sit down for forty-four minutes (excepting commercials) and soberly judge this year's crop of dramas. Again, we'll be blogging the Emmys live from the East Coast starting at 7pm EDT/4pm PDT, so if Mariska Hargitay lets loose with an expletive-laden diatribe or Jeremy Piven has a nip slip on the red carpet, you can be sure we've got it covered. Now, onto the predictions:Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series Boston Legal - James Spader Breaking Bad - Bryan Cranston Dexter - Michael C. Hall House - Hugh Laurie In Treatment - Gabriel Byrne Mad Men - Jon Hamm Don't even bother, House fans. Though Hugh Laurie turned in the compelling, two-hour season finale as his submission, Emmy voters love three-time winner James Spader, and his submission (which finds him passionately arguing a case before the Supreme Court) provides Spader with his biggest tour-de-force yet. If he's ever to lose, it won't be this year. Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series Brothers & Sisters - Sally Field The Closer - Kyra Sedgwick Damages - Glenn Close Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Mariska Hargitay Saving Grace - Holly Hunter A toss-up! In a category filled with film refugees deigning to do TV (which Emmy loves), Sally Field won last year and notoriously gave a bleeped speech that will only solidify her as the incumbent in voters' memories. Her biggest threat is the cool, nefarious Close, but we'll side with inertia and predict Field as the winner once more. Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series Boston Legal - William Shatner Damages - Ted Danson Damages - Zeljko Ivanek Lost - Michael Emerson Mad Men - John Slattery All but two of the nominees are newcomers to this category, and last year's winner Terry O'Quinn is nowhere to be found. We think voters will reward his co-star, Lost MVP Michael Emerson, whose blockbuster episode submission included horse-riding, piano playing, action scenes, foreign languages, and a juicy scene grieving the death of his daughter. Plus, Emerson is no Emmy novice: he won the award in 2001 for guest-starring on The Practice. Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series Boston Legal - Candice Bergen Brothers & Sisters - Rachel Griffiths Grey's Anatomy - Sandra Oh Grey's Anatomy - Chandra Wilson In Treatment - Dianne Wiest If the category seems oddly mild this year, it's because of 2007 winner Katherine Heigl's infamous decision to pull her name out of consideration. As a reward to the co-stars who bit their lips and suffered in silence, we expect either Oh or Wilson to pull through as the winner, with a slight edge to Oh (after all, she once had to deal with Isaiah Washington, too). Outstanding Drama Series Boston Legal Damages Dexter House Lost Mad Men For party crashers Damages and Dexter, it's an honor just to be nominated. Like them, Mad Men is little-seen, but the difference is that it's watched by all the right people (and heavily appeals to older Emmy voters), so we expect a first-season surge to victory. What Would Don Draper Do if he had to go home empty-handed?